• Ahoy!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your favs and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you fav, retweet, or follow someone.
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    I can't wait until my son gets over this fascination with his penis and balls, and...wait, why are all the guys laughing?

    • 113
    • FAVS
    JiminyKicksItswollenvoice12inch_verticalWeethyKickyTinkerbell_SuSuSuDonymShoutingGoddessbustertheskacat
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    bdbdleeroybrownfavstar100MTKellyPhotossweetboudicaKleetasmNotoriousHMVadrian1903trialfemme
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    I really don't get the reason for having more than one Twitter account. Why would I want to look desperately lonely multiple times?

    • 73
    • FAVS
    JiminyKicksItTinkerbell_dmc1138KritzwitSpiderogerbdbdleeroybrownMattSaintMattKatarinaKriz
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    SpiderogerbrentweavNehal_Helmyfavstar50Cool_JesseMurseBrianRNJaccTrippaJe_Ne_SaisQuoi
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    When someone from the Westboro Baptist Church dies, I will show up at the funeral w/a marching band, color guard, Elton John, U name it.

    • 75
    • FAVS
    JiminyKicksItTinkerbell_schumyxxxdmc1138SpiderogerMattSaintMattNinjaPornstarKatarinaKriz
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    UncleDeejfavstar50MurseBrianRNJaccTrippalulusgirl888louistwermannSgtBlueEyesDeChosinJuan
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    Just think of all the great moments we would have missed if Bugs Bunny had taken the left turn at Albuquerque.

    • 55
    • FAVS
    JiminyKicksItTinkerbell_dmc1138KatarinaKrizNerdsnWheyMcCPeggyIdStandOnThatsweetboudica
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    JiminyKicksItfavstar50UNCLEMIKETWEETSolvera_mClosestThingNostradamnisuck
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    My husband has a porn collection. I don't care. I mean, it's not like I'M going to shove a beer bottle up my ass, so dream on sweetie.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    JiminyKicksItTinkerbell_dmc1138KatarinaKrizMcCPeggyIdStandOnThatsweetboudicaBrokenHumorous
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    dawn_chezJaccTrippa
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    ..."And Justice for All (except gays, the poor, single moms, union members, immigrants, non-Christians and Atheists)" #GOPmovies

    • 39
    • FAVS
    Tinkerbell_SpiderogerKatarinaKrizIdStandOnThatBrokenHumorousJayElem00ChristinaStuffCrackedIllusion
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    JaccTrippaJermazoidWordMistressKiznotthatgirl24SarcasmTutor
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    Jesus: I'm sorry, I really meant to return today, but Osama is yapping my ear off. Some bullshit about some virgins he says I owe him.

    • 35
    • FAVS
    JiminyKicksItTinkerbell_SpiderogerKatarinaKrizIdStandOnThatBrokenHumorousbrentweavChristinaStuff
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    fw0116JaccTrippamytweecwetlifeUnclefinchctowndawgpound1snarkanoid
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    When I was asked in a job interview what I liked best, apparently red wine and dick was not the answer they were looking for.

    • 33
    • FAVS
    JiminyKicksItthweetsJnmo48SpiderogerKatarinaKrizMcCPeggyIdStandOnThatBrokenHumorous
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    SpiderogerJaccTrippaaltenterKraz60nandalp
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    Walmart pharmacy tech: If my kids acted like that, my mom would've grabbed me...Me: Shut the fuck up and give me my Paxil.

    • 31
    • FAVS
    JiminyKicksItTinkerbell_KatarinaKrizIdStandOnThatBrokenHumorousbrentweavChristinaStuffVerifiedDrunk
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    JaccTrippakatanaman68trialfemme
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    I hope this Rapture is more fun than the Rapture of 2000. How disappointing was that?

    • 24
    • FAVS
    Tinkerbell_KatarinaKrizIdStandOnThatBrokenHumorousChristinaStuffVerifiedDrunkMauriceBlitzAndrewNabbas
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    LesbianTruckerNotlipstiklesboByebyehostexas__redSour481FestiveWarChilda_moriendiIncredibleMsDee
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    My daughter is watching Wheel of Fortune. Apparently, she's 9 going on 70.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    JiminyKicksItTinkerbell_KatarinaKrizMcCPeggyIdStandOnThatbrentweavChristinaStuffVerifiedDrunk
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    JaccTrippaClosestThingSirGeorgeSmith
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    I saw a 12 yo girl with a tramp stamp in Wal-Mart yesterday. I hope to god it was fake, but I repeat, I was in Wal-Mart.

    • 25
    • FAVS
    Tinkerbell_SpiderogerKatarinaKrizMcCPeggyIdStandOnThatBrokenHumorousBNBUBCarter_TCB
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    JaccTrippachancehambrightfavstar_popThrobbbNHoodMosedoggfailing_at_life
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    I guess we can all agree that playing the Trump card is now synonymous with playing the race card.

    • 28
    • FAVS
    Tinkerbell_SpiderogerIdStandOnThatBrokenHumorousDirlyGirlyMistookMistakeChristinaStuffVerifiedDrunk
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    JaccTrippahannahsatana
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    Don't even get into a battle of words with me. I will verbally gut you like a fish.

    • 21
    • FAVS
    superkeenoneTinkerbell_JustCallMeFranksamlouthomasSpiderogerwtfliartutabluineedaballrub
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    Doktor_Uberpash_n_dashMihawkBlood_Vaginasaurusape_geekLJS4247Polly4Lfailing_at_life
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    My 5 yo son is bragging about how big his poop was. What exactly does that Y chromosome do to you guys?

    • 26
    • FAVS
    Tinkerbell_thweetsSpiderogerKatarinaKrizIdStandOnThatBrokenHumoroushoopahoepDirlyGirly
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    SpiderogerJaccTrippaTheLaughBank
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    Eating Greek yogurt is the closest I come to having anal.

    • 24
    • FAVS
    Tinkerbell_SpiderogerKatarinaKrizllvvzzIdStandOnThatOtisPdQSaint_AngrierClaraVoyent
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    jrogasmineedaballrubartpabloscoGoGoTagg
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    @scharpling Unfollow @charliesheen at 12:00 noon PST. Can you retweet?

    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    SisterHuffspork_girlMichaelNoonanGMandameamelia76sethdwarrengeofftate96MuliebrityNow
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    #withyomonkeyass is trending #1, which just proves unequivocally that the economy is not our only problem.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    SpiderogermarvylousmarvylDiscourtlotocotiJaccTrippa
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    tornadabaitdestuhneemarieClaudette00TheAlmightyZerochristineagnewthatkidwithuggsMcLemoreConsultNEMonkeygirl
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    I'd suck the little blue dicks of 100 Smurfs before I'd see that Sarah Palin movie.

    • 25
    • FAVS
    KatarinaKrizIdStandOnThatBrokenHumorousBNBUBMistookMistakeok_get_seriousEatDrinkHaveFunkramediggles
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    JaccTrippaNostradamnisuck
  • SimplyanElf
      Kristina @SimplyanElf

    "Hi, Ho'." #disneypickuplines

    • 24
    • FAVS
    KatarinaKrizIdStandOnThatBrokenHumorousChristinaStuffsonofabanchVerifiedDrunkMauriceBlitzjimmyfairplay__
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    JaccTrippahannahsatanaNostradamnisuck
@SimplyanElf

@SimplyanElf

Married, mom of two