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I could get ready for bed, or I could dye my hair, pack a duffel and walk away from my life like Jason Bourne
Not gonna tweet about the weather. Not gonna tweet about the weather. Not gonna tweet about the weather. Not gonna tweet about... OH SHIT!
Goon is the best movie. Watch Goon.
If I saw a cow laughing, I wouldn't eat that cheese. No one should eat that cheese.
Yes, I delete tweets if I notice a spelling error. I'm a perfectionisp.
<) )/ all the single ladies
\( (> all the single ladies
<) )/ oh oh oh
"Lets watch every blooper reel ever"- My future wife.
New rule: No more passive aggressive smiling when opponent says something you hate. HONEST MAD FACES
so I got a job. Head Bouncer at some college bar the next town over. Uhhh, I think I need to watch Roadhouse, STAT.
When you get a master's degree, why doesn't everyone use that as their title? Everyone talking to you would sound like Alfred from Batman.
Slicked my hair back in the mirror and, yea, I'd arrest me.
Sometimes you have a good day, and sometimes a kid at camp says your face looks like a butt.
Today in camp I'm making all the kids paint dinosaur suncatchers because dinosaurs were Kaiju.
Sometimes while the cat sleeps next 2 me, she lays a paw on my gut, like she wants 2 feel connected 2 a soul while we all hurtle thru space