Not gonna tweet about the weather. Not gonna tweet about the weather. Not gonna tweet about the weather. Not gonna tweet about... OH SHIT!

Goon is the best movie. Watch Goon.

If I saw a cow laughing, I wouldn't eat that cheese. No one should eat that cheese.

(•_•)
<) )/ all the single ladies
/ \

(•_•)
\( (> all the single ladies
/ \

(•_•)
<) )/ oh oh oh
/ \

Now I can tweet to all my sisters and my mom. And I can write so many wor @meemyaya @kiemzi @pipandbaby @bean412 @thames715 @burjz

I love talking to all my sisters in one tweet. So much word roo @kiemzi @thames715 @burjz @pipandbaby @bean412

"Lets watch every blooper reel ever"- My future wife.

New rule: No more passive aggressive smiling when opponent says something you hate. HONEST MAD FACES

so I got a job. Head Bouncer at some college bar the next town over. Uhhh, I think I need to watch Roadhouse, STAT.

When you get a master's degree, why doesn't everyone use that as their title? Everyone talking to you would sound like Alfred from Batman.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SIS @burjz! Y'ALL CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW RAD SHE IS! HOORAY!

Is it pronounced "~" Swinton?

Does anyone remember that rod stewart/sting/bryan adams song they made for the three musketeers? Because my grocery store does.

"my favorite food is... pizza." "do you like cats?" = The internet/every dude from the eighties

I'm a frost giant now.

SIXPENCE NONE THE RICHARD

"What a Wiccan thing to do, to let me dream of you. What a Wiccan thing to say, you never felt this way." - Not Chris Izaak

"Last one up the stairs is a goof!"- Lindsay Lohan/My tombstone

EVERYTHING IS GROLTZ

Hermione really pronounces that colon in "Hogwarts: A History"