And just like in real life, Leno swoops in and ruins everything. #superbowlcommercials

Ray Lewis is crying as much as the family of the guy his friend murdered. Yay sports redemption

Osama Bin Laden is dead. But, like Tupac, I'm guessing he's got a few more tapes to release.

This is the most confusing episode of Downton Abbey I've ever seen. #olympics

Dennis Rodman is having his jersey retired. Is it gonna be a Pistons jersey, a Bulls jersey or an Ed Hardy shirt?

The Beastie Boy's song, Paul Revere, is more historically accurate than what Sara Palin said about him.

Charlie Sheen said that he had "magic and poetry at his fingertips" at all times. Magic and Poetry are strippers, right?

A football game at Wrigley Field is almost as outrageous as a World Series at Wrigley Field. #almost

At this point, The Marriage Ref could do a better job for the NFL. @tompapa

Favre's been looking for a sign from God as to whether or not he should retire. It's a shame that'll never happen. #metrodomecollapses

Just found out that rapper Pitbull was a rescue.

Debbie Does Dialysis #seniorporntitles

If Manti Te'o had a sense if humor he'd have an empty seat next to him for his ex girlfriend tonight. @richeisen #nfldraft

A 2 yr. old Chinese girl fell 10 stories in Beijing, and was caught by a passerby. She's apparently fine and will be back at work on Monday.

I am an Island, literally. #simonandfatfunkel

There was less confetti at Rip Taylor's funeral. #election

Making the Great Gatsby 3-D is like giving an 86 year old woman a boob job.

Nice to see Todd Akin getting legitimately fucked tonight. And by a lady no less. #justice

Why does Dr. Oz feel the need to wear the scrubs on his talk show? Does he think we'll forget he's a doctor? Dr. Dre doesn't do that.

Vin Diesel in Rio shooting Fast and Furious 5? I feel at this point they're just filming him driving around in his own car on vacations.