Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
suppositories are for assholes
My new plan: crazy-glue a quarter into every urinal I use for the next month.
Just found a half-finished beer in the fridge. #groundsForDivorce
I think Santorum's daughter Felcher is kinda hot.
when I hear someone say the word "fustrating" I get a powerful urge to "crastrate" him.
Chicks with kids are hot because you know they put out.
Often when I meet a #seventeen year old girl I think to myself, "next year she'll be very attractive."
It may be sad that #Whitney Houston has died, but remember: it was pretty sad when she was alive, too.
The Taliban are so paranoid, they should be wearing tinfoil turbans.
Sometimes abandoning my family to spend the rest of my life with hot young prostitutes in tropical countries seems almost worth it.
Note to astronomy students: if you're researching black holes, turn safesearch on. Saves a lot of time.
It's all about sperm, power, domination, victory, and tender delicate love.
My life is actually much deeper and more sophisticated than my twitter feed might lead you to believe.
I've been forced to evolve in unfortunate directions.
life just isn't long enough for the sort of decadence I aspire to