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Mom, twitter is like this great funny place where there are some great funny people and it's so great but I might get murdered
Perk of my job: talking to people in our Texas office... Sir, I have no idea what you said, but it sounds beautiful and masculine and hilly.
Let's put today's productivity at a 0.
GOD, IS THAT YOU??
Is it bad that I want strangers to appreciate my boobs/ass while they're still attractive. LOOK ALL YOU WANT. BUY ME THINGS. BUT THEN LEAVE.
I wish I had been born invisible. I would have KILLED at invisibility. #peoplewatcher
Pandora just played me When In Rome's "The Promise" - because my life doesn't already have enough odd coincidences..
What are windows at work for if they're not for prank calling co-workers you see slip out early from the boss's phone??
When do I become Gisele Bündchen Brady? When does that happen?
I just yelled "The espresso is FREE?!?" in the middle of the Porter lounge... and everyone knew I was American. #GodBlessCanada
I DON'T LIKE MY FINGER SO CLOSE TO THE FAVORITE BUTTON, NEW TWITTER.
We also shouldn't forget that I'm running on the 2007 version of Microsoft Office.
Guess I'm a look-forward kinda girl cuz I just don't see the point of keeping mementos from friends & exes of the past.. Historians hate me.
Oh my god I got the job.