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You're gonna act like an asshole with me? Well, two can play that game.
No, I'm not eating my feelings away. But this cake sure is delicious.
Does having to decide between tea and coffee count as an existential crisis?
You reach work and everything is made of marshmallows.
You remember you didn't have breakfast and start eating your desk.
I'd tell you i don't waste time on idiots, but then we'd never ever speak again
'Ooh. A white shirt. So white! Lemme touch it..'
- all food & liquids and every fucking colourful thing around me.
Hold on while I get offended over nothing.
I realised Damon was an idiot as soon as he started speaking.
What I like most about the silence right now is that you aren't speaking anymore.
Wanna be in cahoots with me?
Please stay on the line while I try to figure out how to get rid of you.
I'd ask you a question but then we'd have to actually talk.
The only thing I remember from last night's dream is that mangoes have feelings too and they really like it when you eat them.
I just saw a vibrator old enough to have great grandkids in college.
Longest day of the year?
Yah! Dad certainly agreed.
All that's left is for Lalit Modi to come on the TV and endorse Yoga and the news channels can have a week long orgasm.
Yoga pose of the day: Turn your head and gaze at your middle finger.
An awesome ketchup can change your life forever.
The voices in my head are all smarter than me.
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