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'You can't say happiness without penis.'
Mum: 'Why can't you be like the other girls and like shopping.' Me: 'Why can't I have a pole in my room?'
My mouth gets me in trouble because I'm a woman.
When you have no life, you get to learn useless skills, ie: writing good tweets.
Some lessons are meant to be learned twice.
"Bikini rule is simple. No cellulite."
Mommy issues= bipolarism + self esteem issues + psychotic.
Subtweeting is a bitch, like karma.
"If I get 10 million dollars, I'm going to give half of it for charity" Bitch please.
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because have sex with me."
I like her, but I don't like that you like her too.
'They asked if I was living in sin. Oh yes, I moved there years ago.'
'There are no rules when multiple orgasams are involved.'
If you cure me from being lazy, I'll give you anything.
Gay songs aren't gay when you're in love.
Guys are lucky bastards. No feelings or PMSing.
I enjoy watching a man crazy in love, tortured because he can't be with his love. Why doesn't he exist? I need to be entertained.