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Boobs are simply nature's mind control devices. Beautiful, soft and round mesmerizing mind control devices.
I'm not fat, I'm kidnap-resistant.
There are no limits to the evil of man.
I want to glaze you like a doughnut. You may take that as a sexual devient or a sugar fiend. Your choice.
If I win the lottery, I am SO never wearing pants ever again...
Sheer Terror: When your 3 year old nephew tells you they have "lumpy farts"
It's now 4pm and I have not told a single person to fuck off today. I really am making progress in being a better person.
I have spent way too much time sober since I got married and produced a child.
Jesus-fucking-christ. Can you people stop tweeting VP debate stuff, and use twitter for it's intended purpose : Boobie pics.
Went to the wake for a friends father. Made me sad. Saw my ex-gf there. She got old and fat. Not so sad anymore.
There was once this girl. She broke my heart. I broke hers. We were no good for each other. How I still miss her to this day...
We could eliminate 80% of tweets if women would just put their positions on oral, swallowing, anal and tit pics in their bios.
Always practice safe sex - never use your real name.
The Bitchier the woman, the better the chance she likes it in her ass.
After being married for over a decade, I no longer believe in "true love." However, "True Hate"... that shit is for real.
I am just a stranger in a strange land. This is the unfiltered dribble of my mind, so it's probably not suitable for anyone.