• G'Day!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your favs and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you fav, retweet, or follow someone.
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    Don't grow up. It's a trap.

    • 1,007
    • FAVS
    PaperWashShashannaPrincecuntrystronggalChaitraSalianCallanish4fav_lystaceyray86randmlyabstract
    • 887
    • RETWEETS
    TMagolaaman226Meyerss___CallMeCidcuntrystronggalLamheyystaceyray86Arunapk57
    CelebrityChezAllyBallyBealTheRealDrToddIamEnidColeslawMasterOfFuryBrennanDurant____littlekitnerboyDavidOzmund
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    I've lowered my bar so much, I just tripped on it.

    • 655
    • FAVS
    MoodymimzyBwanaChriscrk1229ItsAllCrazyToMematt102910_______For_Kicksshakenbakegurlsmash_landing
    • 258
    • RETWEETS
    matt102910_______ce_bearsmash_landingTlaxBoy05phil_mosrumandrocksKittenWrittensoniadimaio68
    Northside_MikePoliticallyILL1captainashamedSteelFontana
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    May I get your name? Yes, its "I'm The Only Person Here Waiting For Coffee."

    • 478
    • FAVS
    TheRomanParkerThtIndian_GuyJDoody523RaniaanterfriggoffffShaeAaronwhiskeybjsHelloLorena7
    • 164
    • RETWEETS
    ThtIndian_GuyRaniaanterfriggoffffThateverydayguysmash_landingtkhan744CrocsSquishieFish
    LazerPunchCaptainObtuse
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    Be thankful for Twitter. The way gas prices are headed, we're never going to meet real people ever again.

    • 471
    • FAVS
    soul_cravingPaperedFairSteph38383cheryl319sonny2221dsherb002oneikasyogalifeamberdontcare
    • 258
    • RETWEETS
    LucraeBeatmwendwadennisiamMungaSteph38383cheryl319WhiskeyGirl_1sonny2221dsherb002
    partiallyproSteelFontana
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    I have concluded that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all the missing socks.

    • 362
    • FAVS
    Sailsman777jnellbgangrypumpkinssmash_landingBustherrNthenude29StoicPiratewellsh40
    • 186
    • RETWEETS
    smash_landingNthenude29songparrotjessibamatkhan7432580beccakathyleecoffeycbme69
    nowarranty
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    You know you've had too much coffee when you take the stairs.

    Six at a time.

    • 302
    • FAVS
    sanguineselkieGoodSCGuymatt102910_______NotRaneemsmash_landingvanilladog69cbme69GrumpyBahr
    • 115
    • RETWEETS
    GoodSCGuymatt102910_______smash_landingvanilladog69cbme69RadMcCoolThe_ThrottlenekGrumpyBahr
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    Don't be sad Andi, Nick will see you again: Outside your kitchen window, with a butcher knife. And a locket. #Bachelorette

    • 289
    • FAVS
    JordanRaglinCarolHello1svennyjohnnyMslys262010TJRwadmilsiSleepALotashleyfoxlinton
    • 171
    • RETWEETS
    Mslys26LEISUREGODDESSchelseasimmonsNicoleLeeTV1dimpleGdiamonddscottlazs91HottWheeels
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    Not sure what it means, but the town drunk just walked by my house, shaking his head at me...

    • 285
    • FAVS
    MinionTrainerrumandrocksUp2LongSCOOPISMSNo_Title_Per_SeMrMrsNaughty1Qstnds4_QueenSuburbanComa
    • 82
    • RETWEETS
    rumandrocksUp2LongQstnds4_Queengoodersuk74______DGonzelezBobFoxx214LtFrankDrebbinSeanEmeny
    TheStarMachine
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    Whenever I have to send an Email to an AOL address I think, "This will go unread. This person can't possibly still be alive."

    • 278
    • FAVS
    TeaBeaPeaMinionTrainerUp2LongLubi__LuReAnim8ed_canonmaster______Northside_Mikecatcerveny
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    Up2Longcanonmaster______Northside_MikecatcervenyMasterOfFurydatkidduknow____fillthevacuumwrstew5150
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    If we can have HD video from Mars then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.

    • 273
    • FAVS
    TheRomanParkerAdventuresOfDanSirLionLegocreatemarcMorganLleighaNav12TreerichlattanziAuthorLRClaude
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    lilsislynneerinshinaurgeekisshowinggodholioremiel20MistyamberA_Bad_KarmaThateverydayguy
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    I don't have kids. I have cocktails.

    • 256
    • FAVS
    jozigirlUp2Longfillthevacuumgoodersuk74______BobFoxx214TomOwen_SirrruhTmoney68
    • 73
    • RETWEETS
    littlemisspsunLillithLedaUp2LongBobFoxx214TomOwen_Sirrruhmax_pad21Ray_stephan
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    Dibs on "Tanning Mom" as a Halloween costume.

    • 244
    • FAVS
    Up2Longfillthevacuumgoodersuk74______poppa_sofSirrruhTmoney68JesssicleHallpassCanada
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    SirrruhlovemydogduckSharpeBytesbrainsdocrezeskibitchFacekitty____JimmerThatisAllMasterOfFury
    joeljeffrey
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    Based on today's wardrobe, my favorite color is dog hair.

    • 241
    • FAVS
    MHaxleyKittenWrittenUp2LongemmaywithayOpenClassMXmaxthatsall_Shells1StrawberryRyan____
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    catastrophe_kidkatieboyce16VN_RubenUp2Long_Shells1courtspilmorejannable9fillthevacuum
    Up2Long
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    Why is happy just an hour?

    • 209
    • FAVS
    TheRomanParkerGentlemanHonorFirstAidBoxxThtIndian_GuyJDoody523RaniaanterfriggoffffShaeAaron
    • 69
    • RETWEETS
    ThtIndian_GuyfriggoffffThateverydayguyUp2LongBobFoxx214SirrruhRag3Ryan__________TheGladStork
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    He said the spark between us was gone, so I tasered him. I'll ask him again when he wakes up.

    • 207
    • FAVS
    ThePhotowagonTeaBeaPearumandrocksUp2Longmandydevilleshegotagronkdellen01helloimvikingo
    • 105
    • RETWEETS
    32580beccaThePhotowagonrumandrocksUp2Longconeal32helloimvikingoRojoLipscanonmaster______
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    I'm not always witty. Sometimes I'm wasted.

    • 200
    • FAVS
    The_Dorkster______ihuffpaintPeaceInTruth1Up2Longgoodersuk74______BobFoxx214SirrruhTmoney68
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    ihuffpaintfavstar_historylittlemisspsunRay_stephanCPK3gunnerfan69__lovemydogduckGrillinChillin9
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    Oh, great!!! I used volumizing shampoo and now I can hear all the thoughts in my head...

    • 188
    • FAVS
    ThateverydayguyFor_KicksWAYNES_O__________rumandrocksNichollsTerenceKittenWrittenUp2Longgoodersuk74______
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    32580beccarumandrocksKittenWrittenUp2LongiGreenMonkLoverkeithlevlovemydogduckGrillinChillin9
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    Another Day of Twitter Poker: I'll see your booze dependency & foot fetish & raise you a narcissistic psychopath w/a meth addiction & a pony

    • 183
    • FAVS
    ThateverydayguyFor_Kickssssh_squirrelWAYNES_O__________NichollsTerenceUp2LongTheCamelToe_crackupchip
    • 61
    • RETWEETS
    Up2LongJellyNinjasgoodersuk74______BootsyMcgeelaurarbxTmoney68nevincrainlovemydogduck
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    Him: I never meant to hurted you.
    Me: I never meant to date someone who doesn't know English.

    • 179
    • FAVS
    For_Kicksheadway10Up2Longgoodersuk74______KariBKari13BobFoxx214SirrruhTmoney68
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    BobFoxx214ctrabs01143aminthemornjinkeejnrbtsn__________ApocalypseBnGRatchet7DonAshley_Rivers18
    squashguy15
  • SmithWit
      SmithWit @SmithWit

    Twitter isn't for everybody. Some of you might want to try your luck on eHarmony.

    • 167
    • FAVS
    For_KicksDeurb1gen_8675309______PhreekMojoUp2LongSirrruhTmoney68Rag3Ryan__________
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    jezz9876Up2LongKennedyShonalovemydogduckGrillinChillin9McInappropriateTheAlexPTurboJellyBean
@SmithWit

@SmithWit
Pro

Writer, Identical Twin, Former NFL Cheerleader & Snarkamist saying what your inner monologue wishes it could. If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll do it for you