@SnappyMcGee's (Snappy McGee) most faved Tweets...
hubby & I trying everything to get pregnant for 2 years with no luck. Next step is to just try having lots of sex & see if that works.
The sign says "Out of Order. Thank you for your cooperation." How am I cooperating? by not rioting? Now what do I do with this pitchfork?
Some nerd at work pretended he was driving a car as he turned left down the hallway. I hollered "you forgot your blinker, JACKASS!"
12
Diet Tip: replace sugary sodas with refreshing Crystal Meth.
wait. what? Crystal Light? huh.
Well, at least the apartment got cleaned.
wait. what? Crystal Light? huh.
Well, at least the apartment got cleaned.
12
Gay man tells me he's never seen Beaches, hates showtunes, and drinks beer. Announces he's not good at gay stuff. His bf just nods sadly
11
Sometimes you meet someone & think "I bet he's a douche" Then they send you a message in 12pt comic sans, and then you KNOW.
10
Commercial Idea: Post coital lady looks disappointed. She reaches for a candy bar. Caption: "at least SNICKERS satisfies you!"
9
coworker named new baby first name that rhymes with her last name.
Can you give a wedgie with a diaper? She'll need to build up tolerance.
Can you give a wedgie with a diaper? She'll need to build up tolerance.
9
When a man emails a woman "dear sir", is it passive aggressive to respond "dear madam"?
or just awesome?
or just awesome?
9
Listen, people. It's Monday AND I'm on my period. So just hand over the Cheetos and the M&Ms and nobody will get hurt.
Probably.
Probably.
8
Me: stick your tongue in it! Like you're dating a woman!
Her: can I get a spoon?
Me: bad lesbian!
#JelloShotInstructions
Her: can I get a spoon?
Me: bad lesbian!
#JelloShotInstructions
8
Just said "Dude!" and gave a high5 to a woman. I'll just pop my collar and my douche bag makeover will be complete.
7
WTF, Friday? I thought you were the fun, sassy, slutty one. What's with dressing up in Monday's clothes? Does nothing for your hips.
6
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