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  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    hubby & I trying everything to get pregnant for 2 years with no luck. Next step is to just try having lots of sex & see if that works.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    llvvzzlacaniansASCIIaliceMikevaginaofffromcenter____oenin____________vmarinellilinanneblack
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    The sign says "Out of Order. Thank you for your cooperation." How am I cooperating? by not rioting? Now what do I do with this pitchfork?

    • 32
    • FAVS
    foodandwhiningrobkroeseASCIIaliceMikevaginaofffromcenter____Catherine3778____vmarinellipiercedbrat
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    Diet Tip: replace sugary sodas with refreshing Crystal Meth.

    wait. what? Crystal Light? huh.

    Well, at least the apartment got cleaned.

    • 25
    • FAVS
    foodandwhiningLorrax710lodelaro__________ASCIIaliceofffromcenter____Catherine3778____linanneblacktnylgn
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    I realize I tweet a lot about work avoidance. But what else am I supposed to do with all the hours they make me show up in the office?

    • 19
    • FAVS
    foodandwhiningASCIIaliceofffromcenter____linanneblackpiercedbrattnylgnBeerhazeDadsUpLate.______
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    Hey, you know what lowers morale? not getting the invite to the party to raise morale.

    • 19
    • FAVS
    foodandwhiningofffromcenter____linanneblackpiercedbrattnylgnBeerhazeDadsUpLate.______Spooky_Johnson____
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    Sometimes you meet someone & think "I bet he's a douche" Then they send you a message in 12pt comic sans, and then you KNOW.

    • 18
    • FAVS
    foodandwhiningASCIIaliceofffromcenter____linanneblacktnylgnBeerhazeBDGarpbeingtheo________
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    Pro Tip: Avoid stuttering on the word "Dictate".

    Related: No, boss, I did not call you a dick. That time.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    foodandwhiningASCIIaliceblondediva11paul_shinnlinanneblackderekasaurushollyberrynesstnylgn
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    Some nerd at work pretended he was driving a car as he turned left down the hallway. I hollered "you forgot your blinker, JACKASS!"

    • 17
    • FAVS
    offfromcenter____linanneblacktnylgnBeerhazebeingtheo________funnyguyEsseErre_________MissVampi________
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    Gay man tells me he's never seen Beaches, hates showtunes, and drinks beer. Announces he's not good at gay stuff. His bf just nods sadly

    • 17
    • FAVS
    ASCIIaliceofffromcenter____tnylgnBeerhazederekasaurusbeingtheo________dentednjthebenbrooks______
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    Listen, people. It's Monday AND I'm on my period. So just hand over the Cheetos and the M&Ms and nobody will get hurt.

    Probably.

    • 16
    • FAVS
    offfromcenter____linanneblacktnylgnVixxenatdBeerhazeiamsaltlakeBDGarpbeingtheo________
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    Obsessively refreshing your favrd page is the new waiting by the phone.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    foodandwhiningofffromcenter____linanneblacktnylgniamsaltlakebeingtheo________dentednjAspiringBetty
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    coworker named new baby first name that rhymes with her last name.
    Can you give a wedgie with a diaper? She'll need to build up tolerance.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    offfromcenter____linanneblacktnylgnBeerhazeiamsaltlakebeingtheo________dentednjthebenbrooks______
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    Man, I hate when you can't get a close parking spot and have to walk so far to the gym.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    ASCIIaliceofffromcenter____tnylgniamsaltlakederekasaurusbeingtheo________unanythingOverlandParker
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    When a man emails a woman "dear sir", is it passive aggressive to respond "dear madam"?

    or just awesome?

    • 14
    • FAVS
    ASCIIaliceofffromcenter____linanneblacktnylgnderekasaurusdentednjAspiringBettybedheadblonde____
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    Got a splinter. Whined about it. My friend replies "oh my god, that is way worse than Haiti."

    wow. one of us is a dick.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    linanneblacktnylgnBDGarpac_moneybeingtheo________A_N_G_E_L_I_N_Emikeym00nblondediva11
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    I'm trying to get fit. So instead of chips, I ate an apple.


    And some chips.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    ASCIIalicelinanneblacktnylgniamsaltlakederekasaurusbeingtheo________thebenbrooks______bedheadblonde____
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    When a dude with a busted bumper cuts you off - LET HIM!

    • 13
    • FAVS
    offfromcenter____linanneblacktnylgnBeerhazeiamsaltlakebeingtheo________thebenbrooks______bedheadblonde____
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    Commercial Idea: Post coital lady looks disappointed. She reaches for a candy bar. Caption: "at least SNICKERS satisfies you!"

    • 12
    • FAVS
    linanneblacktnylgnbeingtheo________thebenbrooks______bedheadblonde____unanythingLovableDoofus____CosaMostro
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    Dear Co-Worker, That amount of cologne does nothing to cover up the sour stink of last night's drunk. It does, however, make my eyes water.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    offfromcenter____piercedbrattnylgnshariv67QuinnKbeingtheo________BDGarpFriedaClub
  • SnappyMcGee
      Snappy McGee @SnappyMcGee

    The lock on the bathroom stall was sticky. There can never be enough soap. Considering amputation of the fingers that touched it.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    offfromcenter____linanneblackpiercedbratBeerhazebeingtheo________ac_moneyFriedaClubtwistedpfister____
@SnappyMcGee

@SnappyMcGee

Hoping for snappy wit, planning for snarky sass.