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@brodie_reed well first things first you have to start fucking a vapid Armenian and naming babies after plants that don't exist
Any one else Feeling like the owe their television a Fathers day card? #no? #justme #ok
@brodie_reed After the Extreme Keg Stand league tanked, they lost their sack
@derickarmijo Theres always the MIB3 Special Edition colonoscopy kit, though that may be strictly limited to Tommy Lee Jones
@reednwrite sounds like a 15 yr old street kids recipie for jungle juice
@reednwrite I believe "Magic" johnson and his amazing Anti-Aids trick would beg to differ
Ladies when a guy says during a date, "Im just old fashioned" what he really means is "Oh dont worry, Im used to paying for sex." #realjuice
I know that exact chick, ugh “@friendfromhs: UGGGGGH just realized my vajazzle is gonna b runed when i give birth to these twins. #fml”
“@mrstansell: Screw it. I've already censored my FB for family. If I can't talk about assholes and blowjobs on Twitter then where can I?”
Masturbating before a date is a bad idea, because afterwards you start asking yourself "do I really feel like going"
Editor. kelp aficionado. I once punched a spider dead in the face.
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