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  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    My husband ripped a nasty, thick fart that got trapped in the cat's fur and now there’s a furry ball of fart running around.

    • 34
    • FAVS
    CompocolypseCarpeAngelavault101girlRidiculousSheriShe_and_MeColeyCuppycakesMikeEBremerJunLimj
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    jfb97nRidiculousSheriColeyCuppycakesMikeEBremeralliejane_508LougieHowserBlack__ElvisFlushing_Nemo
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    Dropped my uncapped ChapStick on the bathroom floor. As it rolled it picked up one of my husband’s ginger pubes. Playing the lotto tomorrow.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    RidiculousSherikamiekaymee__Man_Showerprncss_fifiMrNickJCwhatchamafuckitgoatsafloatDanielCotton
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    Black__Elvisdiscokensiamondayalliejane_508mrtruthandsoulb3njaminb3nwhatthemufffavstar_pop
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    I asked my husband, “What is it with men & boobs?”. He said, “What is it with humans & food?”. Fine……

    • 31
    • FAVS
    sass_irish________Jehzikahisobar_hicJRT_91blind_phineasRidiculousSheriJack_Wagon1Black__Elvis
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    Your_Cacoethessass_irish________KristiCurranblind_phineasRidiculousShericerebus42ZombieMom00flowerturd
    siamonday
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    It’s that time of year again when I play this little game called My Cold Feet on My Husband’s Warm Nut Sack.

    • 26
    • FAVS
    RidiculousSheriEdwardNigma1980prncss_fifiMrNickJCwhatchamafuckitThomas_LullBlack__ElvisZwolf666
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    CarolCarmineBlack__Elvisaka_gingerkidalyssalainefavstar_popalliejane_508Finnie04whatthemuff
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    I've never been more offended & appalled in my life. The nerve of some people. No, I don't want a fuckin' Fig Newton.

    • 27
    • FAVS
    RidiculousSheriKeagan_ExsteenDallaniBurroFumaprncss_fifiMrNickJCwhatchamafuckitThomas_Lull
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    prncss_fifiBlack__ElvisCheetohFaceserratos27return2dust77____GrapeJuice40______ExcuseMyTweetswhatthemuff
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    I just watched a man dig vigorously in his ass, then press the crosswalk button. Ladies & gentleman, that’s why there’s poop everywhere.

    • 18
    • FAVS
    RidiculousSheriBlack__Elvisdeuceplatypus____alliejane_508OG_MorgasmflowerturdFlushing_Nemodiscoken
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Flushing_Nemoalliejane_508flowerturddiscokenwhatthemufferic10Fsiamondayfakeapplejuice
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    I’m certain this one employee of mine sticks the tampon in her asshole instead of her vagina and wonders why her panties are still bloody.

    • 20
    • FAVS
    RidiculousSheriBlack__ElvisZwolf666themorilindsey_brian1kueldadalyssalainekeithlev
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    mrtruthandsoulcardsnolesBuddha_Pesttonejonzz__alliejane_508whatthemuffCheetohFace
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    My male co-worker complimented me on the perfume I was wearing. I promptly told him, “I farted.”

    • 21
    • FAVS
    RidiculousSheriBlack__ElvisZwolf666themori1kueldadMVernacatolaCheetohFaceWetzelGeek
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    kjax82cervixsmashalliejane_508MyHimachalwhatthemuff
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    Hotel problem of the day: 90 year old man complaining his balls hang in the toilet water while taking a crap. How's your day going?

    • 18
    • FAVS
    whatthemuffZwolf666alliejane_508HeSlimedMeRayeric10F1cynicalbitch____Jeni_DeckerCheetohFace
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    alliejane_508africandeevaCheetohFaceflowerturdmisslazyjsiamondayAvatar_unknown_48
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    A fly landed on my mouth & got stuck in the lip gloss. I shit my pants so hard, I gave myself a hemorrhoid.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    RidiculousSheriMrmizilplixarmyantstudiosKarate_HorseBlack__ElvisFlushing_Nemosc_vaughnalliejane_508
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    armyantstudiosKarate_Horsealliejane_508discokenflowerturdwhatthemuffsiamondayCheetohFace
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    My ginger husband & two ginger strangers all noticed one another at the same time, accompanied with a head nod. I now believe in 12/21/2012.

    • 19
    • FAVS
    RidiculousSheriBlack__Elvisnic_rob3__________ExcuseMyTweetsalabamawurleycalmdownguy______HapaKoleaJentheedgeofchris__
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    HapaKoleaJenfavstar_popJacquieFreakwhittley95whatthemuffCheetohFace
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    It’s ironic that I’ll be conducting a bloodborne pathogen training class today while I’m on my period.

    • 16
    • FAVS
    Black__ElvisOvarianRage______radtoria__________BradBroaddusalliejane_508HapaKoleaJenswollenvoicerunawaycupcake
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    alliejane_508MakeMeGoHmmmmswollenvoiceCheetohFaceWanderingLeohowtospeakbeefwhatthemuff
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    My oh my! What a tiny penis you have, sir! http://t.co/fMBafWRj

    • 18
    • FAVS
    Black__ElvisdaliamalekrossronnMistyMKalliejane_508Nefijer24skidoo77Shores
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    HotShoesBuyeriamchristyjaneCM2BTTHDnoahgrahamCynicalLongkat
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    Walmart is a gigantic Jerry Springer audition.

    • 19
    • FAVS
    Lionessinusweinerdog4life__beethetrannyshallowteaspoonNichollsTerenceGideonKleinThat_Damn_DuckBlack__Elvis
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    BeeGeex2Black__ElvisHapaKoleaJenCheetohFace
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    I’m watching Spring Breakers and if I hear James Franco say “spring breeaak” one more fucking time, I’m going to punch a baby.

    • 16
    • FAVS
    JermHimselfishweinerdog4life__AbdullahFaqeirItsReem86Black__ElvisFlushing_NemowhatthemuffTeflonPawn
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    workdickMoodymimzyBlack__ElvissiamondaydiscokenCheetohFace
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    I’m wearing my bubble wrap underwear today.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    zanakinkelaarju__vivianaauricchi__Black__Elvisalliejane_508OG_MorgasmFlushing_Nemodiscokenwhatthemuff
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    alliejane_508kennzzzzodiscokenmulliganstewed____CheetohFace
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    I made the mistake of wearing my hippie deodorant today instead of the industrial strength stuff. Now my pits smell like red onions.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    Black__Elvisalliejane_508weinerdog4life__flowerturdFlushing_Nemodiscokenroadkill3xwhatthemuff
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    Flushing_Nemoflowerturddiscokenwhatthemufferic10FCheetohFacesiamonday
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    I had a dream last night about nuclear spiders. Nuclear. Mutha. Fuckin’. Spiders.

    • 16
    • FAVS
    Black__ElvisdiscokensiamondaywhatthemuffHapaKoleaJenalliejane_508Vintsagegluvyod____
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    ShelveIt101eric10FCheetohFacemulliganstewed____misslazyj
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    Enough of the animal testing! Make the child sex traffickers disappear. Put them to some societal good use.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    whatthemuffTeflonPawncjcapbtBlack__ElvisadamrunsfarrunawaycupcakeMrmizilplixplathypuss______
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    discokenantwersiFlushing_NemoCheetohFacemisslazyj
  • SniffSniff76
      JenTractor @SniffSniff76

    I just witnessed a redneck tell a group of Chinese people to “Shut up and go back to Japan!”. He then drove off in a Hyundai.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    Black__Elviscalluptomealliejane_508mrtruthandsoulCaptainObtusecalmdownguy______HapaKoleaJenwolfluznicky
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    HapaKoleaJenHashtag_AwesomewhatthemuffburntweinersmisslazyjCheetohFace
@SniffSniff76

@SniffSniff76

The most kind-hearted cunt you'll ever meet. Oh, and I love animals more than people.