Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
It starts with a tweet.
Then a Dm.
The next thing you know your virtual legs are wrapped around his virtual neck.
True definition of panic is after leaving for lunch wondering if you closed Twitter on your work computer
Sometimes..it's just nice to know you're being thought of .. plain and simple.
My thin friend mentions she hates when her (skinny) thighs jiggle. I punched her in her face.
She won't need to worry about her thighs now
When you keep pushing someone away they're either going to come at you full force ...
Or simply walk away...the heart can only take so much
Anything more terrifying than your child grabbing your phone & saying "you have a text that says.." whilst I leap over chairs 2 grab frm her
I apparently need a refresher course on how to post a Facebook status update that does not include anything about bodily fluids or genitals
Keep flirting with him.
I'm the one that will be on his face later.
Whoever said that women come into their sexual peak in their 40's (right?) was absolutely. fucking. right.
I'm a vegetarian but I felt stupid ordering just fries at Wendys. So I ordered a cheeseburger too. Then I ate it. I'm an asshole.
No matter what I do I can't seem to get the taste of you out of my mouth. And I'm okay with that.
I want to make out with you like we're 16 & Def Leppard was popular again & we still referred to your hand down my pants as third base.
FYI not everything I tweet is 1) true 2) about someone on Twitter. So, quit reading into my tweets like a fucking FBI agent :) xo
Go ahead and get excited when he star fucks you and RT's you.
I'll let you know what he tastes like.
If they have to use more than four words to announce your drink at Starbucks..you're an asshole*
Sucks when your work computer locks up on Favstar. When you've clicked on the blow job tweet. So. Your pointer is hovering. Over blow job.
I don't do poo or fart tweets. I like to be a little lady like.
Get over here so I can ride your face.
My Betty White calendar just fell off the wall onto my desk & scared the piss out of me.
I know, I lost you at "Betty White calendar"
Lady that opened my shower curtain in the locker room..I was JUST scratching an itch. But it was nice of you to scream "OMG" & run away.
Sometimes I just need you to tell me I'm beautiful because that just might be the moment I need to hear it the most.