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My son offered me coffee which was in fact bath water, so I guess in 12 years he can be in charge of brewing the coffee at a McDonald's.
My roommate said he's "moving his furniture", but it sounds just like sex! But what do I know, I've never had sex with furniture.
Getting into the Mardi Gras spirit, I flashed my boobs today...but all I got were business cards from plastic surgeons.
Made a joke to my Chinese neighbour about his appalling pronunciation of English but my total lack of Mandarin ruined it.
"Mommy, the dog is shaped like a cylinder if you chop off her head, her legs and her tail."
"Oh, that would make a nice school project."
"Oh, that would make a nice school project."
Look around. You are in the heart of twitterverse, and as a sane person, you are an illegal immigrant here.
when the mister & i go to market,
he always want to buy beer & charmin.
charmin.
we do ok, but we're not fucking millionaires.
he always want to buy beer & charmin.
charmin.
we do ok, but we're not fucking millionaires.
Unlike you lazy drunks I did the right thing and hit the gym on Fat Tuesday.
And I have every intention of being here next year as well.
And I have every intention of being here next year as well.
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