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Shit, some people didn't stand up immediately as the seat belt sign turned off so now the plane has gone back to London with them on it!
*masturbating to the sound of men crying over International Women's Day with the piece of vibrating plastic I've replaced them with*
Of course Obama is going to win, his first name is PRESIDENT, helloo!
The best thing about having sex is 9 months later, when you can make the prank call.
Landlord: I just voted for UKIP.
Him: Those bloody immigrants.
Me: Didn't you migrate to UK from Iran?
Him: I mean the Polish ones.
Leave the One Direction fans alone, okay? I've seen you guys watch football. I've seen you cry over a ball.
"That status you just put up could ruin your career."
Then let it be ruined. Here's the status: https://www.facebook.com/sofiekhagen/posts/10204752882283928 …
Last night 3 drunk dickheads shouted "fat cunt" at me. Should've punched them, but instead I wrote this. https://www.facebook.com/sofiekhagen/posts/10204493806207188?notif_t=like …
Hello people. Yesterday I wrote this about some guys calling me a 'fat cunt'. Read it and I won't pester you again. https://www.facebook.com/sofiekhagen/posts/10204493806207188?notif_t=like …
'Not groundbreaking comedy' - Steve Bennett, Chortle. Creator of @TheCTSPodcast · Represented by @GetComedy · #EdFringe: 8-30th, 7.10pm @ Liquid Rooms Extra
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