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Okay, can someone go back in time and make sure Nigel Farage gets accepted to art school?
Autocorrect put an S at the end of "Enjoy the rest of your day" and now om pretty sure this booker thinks I'm going to murder him.
Danes are trying to help refugees get to Sweden. Like we did with the Jews. Only this time we're not occupied by nazis. We voted for them.
I have the woman-flu. Which is like the manflu but worse because I also regularly have periods and I get paid less.
Shit, some people didn't stand up immediately as the seat belt sign turned off so now the plane has gone back to London with them on it!
Hey, groups of drunk men on trains: No one likes you. No one.
*masturbating to the sound of men crying over International Women's Day with the piece of vibrating plastic I've replaced them with*
Of course Obama is going to win, his first name is PRESIDENT, helloo!
The best thing about having sex is 9 months later, when you can make the prank call.
Landlord: I just voted for UKIP.
Him: Those bloody immigrants.
Me: Didn't you migrate to UK from Iran?
Him: I mean the Polish ones.
People saying that women can get over-emotional and overreact to things - hey, do you follow football? Now shut up.
Hey women who are anti-feminist because you think it'll get you laid: There's dick on the right side of history too - and it's better.
I'm only here to find my real dad.
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