Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Of course Obama is going to win, his first name is PRESIDENT, helloo!
The best thing about having sex is 9 months later, when you can make the prank call.
When people favourite my tweets instead of retweeting, it's like we've had sex, but you don't want to tell your friends. TELL YOUR FRIENDS.
Sometimes I take a pregnancy test when I'm sad, just to remind myself that at least my life isn't completely over.
Judging by taste, I assume the last 15% of 85% dark chocolate is human shit.
If this tweet gets 100 retweets, I'm going to marry Chris O'Dowd and/or get a restraining order against him. Go.
Being a female comedian is only harder because we're not as funny as men.
I received an e-mail about Yahoo!Mail. Gmail placed it in the spam-folder. Your move, Yahoo.
GUYS! I wrote a blogpost. It's about what I want in a man. Call me. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/sofie-hagen/finding-a-man_b_3605561.html …
I wrote a piece on female comedians and bookers. Oh-oh. http://www.chortle.co.uk/correspondents/2013/04/12/17618/dont_book_me_because_im_female%21 … @funnywomen
Me: Have some money, sir. Spend them on something nice to wear.
Man: I'm not homeless. I'm hipster.
Me: I know. *whispers* I know.
We don't NEED more women in comedy. We NEED more of the women in comedy to be funny.
How long do you have to sit next to a cute guy on a bus before you tell him about your father not being around much when you were young?
I rejected a guy last night who then began to cry. Listen, do as the rest of us and WAIT TILL YOU GET HOME.
'Not groundbreaking comedy' - Steve Bennet, Chortle #StandUp #Comedian #Writer Also known as Sophie Hagan, Sophia Hagon, Sofia Hagea and Sogie Hayen.