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.@jrehling Shaggy & Velma are Jewish, but I'm pretty sure Fred & Daphne assist through a magickal sex ritual in the name of their Lord Satan
Every time a bell rings, @toddglass gets himself a big ol' pile o' pussy. #WonderfulLifeIndeed
In the final analysis, a melon is just a squash that puts out.
Eat it or wear it! RT @ericicomedy New Jersey Super Fudge Nut Chunk #SadIceCreamFlavors
@robcorddry @sillifunnihappi If I were a #muppet, Maria & the nice deaf lady would've hit me w/ a restraining order. #PutYourHandInside
60 Famous People You Didn’t Know Were Scientologists | Thought Catalog http://t.co/T2FgbZIj
OK, this gets you a coveted retweet. RT @travleblanc: Is it just me or are New Order kind of like a hetrosexual version of Pet Shop Boys.
@dougbenson DLM Category "Tootsie Pops" - Films where Dustin Hoffman plays someone's father
Today's word: Fucaduqification
@adamflowers You may recall, he's got the Ill Communication. @qtiptheabstract
Unsurprising MT @wolfblitzer: Just boarded flight & someone said: 'Thanks for all the good entertainment over the years.' Entertainment?
@mmesurly Let me fertilize them! #TotallyNotCreepy
My wife doesn't care that I never rock a mic with her pantyhose. #WeAreTheWorld
@adamflowers You should really start with a trigger warning for limerick survivors.
@cmikailli @stephaniedelbia There are two or three glaring problems with that tweet
#UnsungStereotypes RT @caissie: What's the deal with people who smell like coconuts in the winter?
#LostRomneys RT @robdelaney: PLOPP KRAN PUSS PLOPP PLOPP. RT @sweden: http://t.co/xvk9wuuP
@asdddsyk6raf @kulap Play on, who farted. Play on, you brave little search for the flatulent truth! #Seekers #Knowledge #Summah
@caissie Maybe not at YOUR house, missy!
Gifted lover; Over-eater; Local* legend. *close enough to smell me