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My heart doesn't have walls. It has that electric fence from Jurassic Park.
Fuck being wined and dined, I'd rather be whiskied and roughly-kissed.
It wouldn't be so terrible to have one of those boyfriend things. Y'know, like, someone to watch film, drink wine, and cuddle with. Maybe.
I wouldn't even know what to do with a boyfriend. Do you have to walk it?
Things left unsaid tend to yell in your mind.
Dear gay men, there's nothing straight-acting about sucking a dick. Just a reminder.
Retweet if you were a gay cesarian baby and still haven't touched the vagina. We're few, but strong.
If your glass is half empty just fill the rest with red wine.
Dear video commenters who continuously remark about how disgusting smoking is: Thank you, I thought I was inhaling vitamins.
As a gay man and c-section baby, I can categorically say I have never been through a vagina.
I wonder if the Mars Curiosity is going to instagram photos of its meals...
Since I can't remember officially coming out on twitter, I'll just come out now, since boredom is taking its toll. I'm like, gay.
Come out of the closet. We all want to meet you :)
People are pitching tents in front of Best Buy for Black Friday. Maybe we should pepper spray them.
A boyfriend should automatically mean frequent back rubs. If not, what's the point?
When people say "you're so quiet" at a gathering, is it somehow supposed to make you feel more comfortable speaking?
I know you're all obsessed with Draw Something, but is everyone aware of Pictionary? It only came out decades ago.
Laughed during the "Making of Snow White" special feature as Kristen Stewart described how bruised her knees were during filming.
Blowjobs. A timeless tradition.
Sarcasm with a dash of whimsy, served over shredded intellect... Gin-slinging film dork. Seeker of gills and wings. Greenpeacer.