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Sexting is great. Remember when we had to fax images of our smashed genitalia to each other?
Eeee aawwrrgj eee ghaaww!
i love you so much i can't wait to murder you in your sleep
..but I'm the one who'd probably be considered disrespectful for selfie-ing 2-3x's a month.
*gets sucker punched by Christian Rock musician*
If you drive the speed limit or brake through green lights I fantasize about ramming full speed into the back of your stupid car
Not even 9am and I put GO TO THE WEED STORE on my to-do list for today.
A little mascara goes a long way when you have rare colored eyes.
🎶 hey, I just followed you
and this is crazy
but here's a number
for a therapist, baby 🎶
Sorry that I sang "Tiny bubbles" when I saw your boobs.
All the amazing things in this world to be obsessed with, and you chose internet dick.
*points and laughs at you*
Just saw a dog so cute I gave its owner $3
Why are we fighting at Walmart?
People with volume buttons. Get on that, evolution.
I'd NEVER advocate violence.
That said…if George Zimmerman were to get skull fucked with a barbed wire strap on, I wouldn't be heartbroken.
I think the main reason I don't work out is the sheer thought of having to wash my hair more than once a week
Put your snow globes away. No one cares really.
My name is a four letter word. @Blarebare gets all my noogies. IG & Snapchat = @sonofcha
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