Actually...we are all crazy. Some of us are just more professional about it.

Making out 8th grade style is underrated.

3yrs ago today I had a baby almost 4months early. 1.7lbs 10% survival chance. Tonight I'm making birthday ba-sketti!

I'm going to make some lucky cat very happy one day.

The choices should be star, RT, and Wtf.

I finally broke down and Googled bukkake. Ignorance is bliss. Freaks

Dude, no one cares about your 12 pack abs when you can also fit into your gf's size 2 jeans. Eat a cheese burger and put a fucking shirt on.

I bet if you picked your feet up when you walked you wouldnt be such a fat ass. Maybe.

You know you are having a good day if you forget to tweet.

Finding someone hilarious is awesome. Someone finding you hilarious is priceless.

It's all fun and games until someone goes full on retard and falls in love.

We should all get matching sweaters and take a group photo.

If you are a guy with a super hot avi that tweets all of the time, I automatically assume you are 5'5.

Wondering which of my twitter friends would be completely disapointing if i met them in real life...

It only took one of me to change a light bulb. In case anyone was wondering.

Too bad you can't punch pregnant girls that smoke.

Forget love, sex, money, looks. Can he cook?? Anything else is just a bonus.

Making a snow angel, only with candy wrappers...in my bed.

Beauty is a curse. Unless you are thirsty or hungry. Or need free stuff.

Have you ever pressed send on a text and then instantly wanted to punch yourself in the face or sell your soul to the devil to get it back..