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You guys have to admit, that was a pretty cool episode of West Wing last night.
Maybe it's the second glass of scotch talking, but I think I miss Tom from MySpace. I can still see him sitting there...smiling.
Somewhere, someone is meeting a dog with their same first name. #awesome
Next presidential debate we put a puppy in the middle of the stage, Obama and Romney on opposite sides both call it to come. 1point.
Thought I bought my wife an iPad for Xmas but turns out I just bought her a 400 dollar bejeweled game.
You think you have it bad? Think of the obstacles the inventor of the stumbling block had to overcome.
I'm so mad at myself I'm not talking to myself.
The 7-Eleven employee that has to constantly refill the Slurpee machine today, will always refer to today as 7/11.
Some say that watching a #LunarEclipse is like watching paint dry. Yeah, if it was paint drying in SPACE! #stillcool
I am at the mall knocking Cinnabons out of peoples hands. I am Batman.
I meet a person for the first time and my first questions is "how many times have you made egg salad?". That, folks, is how to network.
I'm not a doctor but I do prescribe chill pills.
4 hours to go to our wedding and now we are worrying what every bride and groom worry about: did we buy enough pop bottle rockets?
Advocate for social media, comedians and the scientific method.