I like when you follow someone because they post pictures of their bewbs and you end up learning about the internal politics of a country.

#NDAA is a bullet in the head of Lady Liberty. #FuckYouWashington #YOUAREALLTRAITORS

@barackobama

How can I vote for you now?!

#NDAARuling #NDAA

Dear #GOP,
That smell is tear gas. We will see you in the street. #OccupyWallStreet #OccupyWallSt #FuckYouWashington #AmericanSpring

Someday, I will get a blow job, while taking a dump, and blasting the Top Gun theme. And on that day, I will know that she is the one.

If Jay Leno gets cancer, and has his head frozen, he'll wake up telling Bill Clinton blow job jokes. And they still won't be funny.

When you kill me, lay me on my side, thusly my tape outline shall include a boner.

@fozzard23 @groovybruce

Shit. Now I have to watch Xena.

Damn your charismatic chin!!!

I'm anti-idiot

BECAUSE SCIENCE

@thedailyedge stop being so heart-breakingly insightful and concise.

We're expecting great things from the gonorrhean athletes.

#VieraAndLauer

#IStandWithBachmann because I'm fucking her husband

@barackobama INVOKE THE 14th. We got your back. #FuckYouGOP #theywontcomprimise

Ann Coulter's "laugh" kills puppies.

My batsuit would not only have nipples, but they would lactate.

If anybody needs to be deflowered before the rapture, I'm free

Please keep an eye out for my new work out regimen: Abs of Steel Reserve

RIGHT HERE

RIGHT NOW

#TWITTERTWEETUP
#FUCKTHEMAYANS
#BANGITOUT2012
#insta-orgy

You call it, oral, eating pussy, going down, carpet munching, cunnilingus......

I call it bobbing for orgasms.

http://t.co/Bs9Pmg6i