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I reserve the right to judge you based on your sock choices.
Know how to create an animated GIF? Can you make a list? Congratulations, here's a journalism degree.
"And to my son Ronald, I leave my entire collection of mint-condition, never-been-opened LinkedIn Updates emails."
I eat a banana like I'm giving a blowjob. (Break it into many small pieces, chew slowly.)
Googly eyes are just absolutely the best. • http://www.pleated-jeans.com/2013/01/13/guy-plants-googly-eyes-on-things-at-target-23-pics/ …
Only way I'll get out of this ticket is if an eagle swoops down and carries the dog away in its claws.
"Oh no." -me, during the Dwarf dishwashing song in The Hobbit
I'm just a simple game dev programmer living near Atlanta. Follow me long enough and you're bound to see a T.M.I. tweet. Or possibly me in my underwear.