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  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    "There are more chickens than people in the world."

    No shit? We eat buckets of them. BUCKETS.

    • 53
    • FAVS
    Jennifergr8jamjooomahTattoo_Acoustic__Boobnish__________guwoptaughtmechullymortonXBostonBitchXSteevUmc
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    Jennifergr8_thelifeileadjamjooomahBoobnish__________Favstar500FavsNewtonOnHolidaySteevUmcK_aroki_
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    The problem is that you are so open-minded your fucking brain has fallen out.

    • 43
    • FAVS
    HeadsorTailzthesupergrobiJennifergr8jamjooomahDaPopeOfDope__Tattoo_Acoustic__Boobnish__________SteevUmc
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    HeadsorTailzJennifergr8jamjooomahTattoo_Acoustic__boiltheseaSteevUmcmoses_mark_Grind_n_Roll
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    My life is a constant battle between the need to masturbate and the need to drink beer.

    • 36
    • FAVS
    Tattoo_Acoustic__Boobnish__________Grind_n_Roll_SirPrincessrobyn_voJohnBrowning74McInappropriateJenny4ashley
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    beeisforbeeautyMcInappropriateJenny4ashleyVicFutureTastyTomasabhorrent_wifeluckyjackZeusushi__________
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    Roses are red, Violets are red, Everything is red, Ocular Haemorrhage

    • 29
    • FAVS
    jamjooomahTattoo_Acoustic__Boobnish__________Grind_n_RollGBRougecityKimKardashsToelil_dead_girl_robyn_vo
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    jamjooomahTattoo_Acoustic__lil_dead_girl_GuapowitzDanTheManUsualJenny4ashleyItchy_Tastyventivodkacran
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    Awkward moment when 3 of the women I've fucked were in the same room. Only took them 5 minutes to realise I paid them all different prices.

    • 31
    • FAVS
    jamjooomahTattoo_Acoustic__Boobnish__________Grind_n_RollGBRougecityrobyn_vodreamthievinMcInappropriate
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Jenny4ashleyjoeftakventivodkacranabhorrent_wifeGuttaLikeNoOthaonedavedeepmwv1217Storminika
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    My girlfriend is complaining that once again I'm drinking alone. She doesn't understand that I'm drinking with the internet.

    • 29
    • FAVS
    jamjooomahTattoo_Acoustic__Boobnish__________Grind_n_RollWillieGetsome____jjmick45robyn_voMcInappropriate
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    jamjooomahWillieGetsome____77StephanieG77Jenny4ashleyabhorrent_wifeGuttaLikeNoOthaslowdance69Bunnydurden
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    I drink too much to quit my job.

    • 26
    • FAVS
    jamjooomahBoobnish__________Grind_n_Rollrobyn_voMcInappropriatedetroit_etkimboslicelikeJenny4ashley
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Jenny4ashleyTastyTomasDoms__Mom________Zeusushi__________tpurvis06
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    On my birthday I choked my girlfriend unconscious during sex so I could play video games

    • 19
    • FAVS
    pritamJAYKARGrind_n_RollGBRougecityrobyn_voMcInappropriateJenny4ashley2uesdaysgoneLetsFav
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    boiltheseaUECMusicK_aroki_Grind_n_Roll2uesdaysgone77StephanieG77midnight___owlDybbuk_Girl
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    Just ejaculated in a woman's face and shouted out "Now that's Kafkaesque" Seems my literature degree is good for confusing whores on the bus

    • 19
    • FAVS
    Boobnish__________Grind_n_RollGBRougecitylil_dead_girl_McInappropriateJenny4ashleyventivodkacran2uesdaysgone
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Genghis_DongladyfiredancerZeusushi__________dan_martnExodus_1831onedavedeep
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    I'm unemployed, broke, and doing nothing about a decade long drink problem. Ladies, please form an orderly queue.

    • 20
    • FAVS
    Boobnish__________robyn_vodegako83__________McInappropriateJenny4ashleyventivodkacranaustincko2uesdaysgone
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    McInappropriateabhorrent_wifeslowdance69Dybbuk_Girl
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    Friend: I just had my first gay experience at the bar.
    Me: Where do your gay experiences usually happen?
    F: I fucking hate talking to you.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    jamjooomahGrind_n_RollGBRougecitylil_dead_girl_Alonzo2469McInappropriateJenny4ashley2uesdaysgone
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    jamjooomahlil_dead_girl_McInappropriate77StephanieG77VicFuturenotkevinbarbo
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    If a man DMs me a cock picture but it's flaccid, is he insulting me or being vulnerable?

    • 15
    • FAVS
    Grind_n_Rolllil_dead_girl_Miss_Firefly_ViciousPoonyMcInappropriateJenny4ashley2uesdaysgone77StephanieG77
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Miss_Firefly_77StephanieG772uesdaysgonelalastrailerDybbuk_GirlLactatinLithium__
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    The GF hates that I use my fingers to make her smell her own bum hole. Joke is on her though, it's really my bum hole.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    jamjooomahGrind_n_RollGBRougecityMcInappropriateJenny4ashley2uesdaysgoneLetsFavHumor_Fetish
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    77StephanieG7723_LiesJJzenboysStorminika
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    "Do I like to drink? Does a bear shit in the pope's hat while fisting fucking the prophet Mohammed?" I said in my disciplinary while naked.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    jamjooomahGrind_n_RollMcInappropriateJenny4ashley2uesdaysgone77StephanieG77TastyTomasshaggykwb_2______
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    jamjooomah2uesdaysgoneDybbuk_Girlslowdance69
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    Do not under any circumstances place your genitals on a mirror and then stare at them while on LSD. My cock folded through space time.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    jamjooomahGrind_n_RollGBRougecityMcInappropriateJenny4ashley2uesdaysgone77StephanieG77shaggykwb_2______
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    jamjooomah2uesdaysgoneslowdance69urbustaDybbuk_Girl
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    My friend's mum telling a room full of family she is leaving her husband because he only wants anal is the best drunken confession Ive seen.

    • 16
    • FAVS
    Boobnish__________Grind_n_RollGBRougecityMcInappropriateJenny4ashleykjlong222uesdaysgone77StephanieG77
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    2uesdaysgoneslowdance69
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    Got caught saying "Nice arse" under my breath by a woman standing in front of me. Avoided awkwardness by explaining I meant her young son.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    jamjooomahGrind_n_RollcareylikeswineGBRougecityMcInappropriateJenny4ashley2uesdaysgone77StephanieG77
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    GBRougecitykevinrowe1Dybbuk_Girl
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    Retweet me or the bitch next door gets it. Or don't, either way I'm fucking next door's pet.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    jamjooomahGrind_n_RollMcInappropriateJenny4ashley2uesdaysgone77StephanieG77TastyTomasshaggykwb_2______
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    onedavedeepLishivaTheMichaelRockDybbuk_Girl
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    when I was a boy I used to punch girls I liked. Now that I'm a man I hit them with a hammer.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    jamjooomahGrind_n_RollGBRougecityMcInappropriateJenny4ashley2uesdaysgone77StephanieG7723_Lies
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Dom_by_nameDybbuk_Girlonedavedeepbeckylynnefield
  • SpankyHam4
      Spanky Ham @SpankyHam4

    "I'm a nice girl who doesn't do drugs". No, what you mean is "I'm a girl who doesn't buy her own drugs." You want a line I expect something!

    • 13
    • FAVS
    GBRougecityMcInappropriateJenny4ashley2uesdaysgone77StephanieG77SRbetaRadiopticMonilyn11
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Dybbuk_Girl
@SpankyHam4

@SpankyHam4

My real name is a good and strong Christian name, but I was born out of wedlock so it evens out. Vinegar swilling lunatic.