Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
My only talent is being able to fall asleep anywhere at anytime.
Wife: "I would never have a stupid twitter account"
Me: *signs up for twitter*
When pot is legalized I'm writing it off as a business expense because, Twitter.
You know that one perfect bite out of a hamburger? That one in the very middle? Why can't the whole burger be like that?
Just logged on to FavStar for the first time.
So... It was nice knowing you real world.
I wonder if favstar could make it any more difficult to trophy a fucking tweet.
My job's random drug testing is really killing my buzz.
If there was an all out twitter war my money is on the women.
"Meet me on the dancefloor."-Me, initiating sex with my wife.
I'll just keep tweeting; whether you give a shit or not.
Whenever I feel bad about myself I think about how some of you are probably regulars at Burger King
I hope that you guys never do anything I tell you to...
You're lucky I'm not a snitch or else I would report you for spam, Biiiaatch!
I wish there was a "I'm all for your cause but I'm not fucking following you" button. That would be nice.
Having a gas station burrito for lunch because I hate myself.
retweets, like sex, only bother people who aren't getting any.
Camping for a week with no cell service. Fuck yeah!
My life coach just tried to murder me
Subtweeting only makes me stronger.
Pokemon cards but with your favorite tweeters.