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My sweat pants have come to terms with the fact that they really are sit on the couch & watch movies pants.
I don't need to go to France or Germany when I could easily “Study a broad” right here, with night vision goggles, outside her window.
My theory behind alien probing is that prostate cancer is a problem on other planets, so in their great kindness, they give us free exams.
Kids with Attention Deficit Disorder go to Concentration camps during the summer.
X & Z are the unloved children of the alphabet. However, when used in scrabble, you can hear them whisper, "Look at me now, bitch,10 Pts".
You guys make marriage sound like prison. Seems to me that people getting married should say they're encaged rather than engaged.
Fearless women who wear high heels when there is ice and snow on the ground have a set of balls so big they make mine look like M&Ms.
If you guys need a shoulder to cry on, I know this really good one down on interstate 80. There's even a discarded couch for you to sit on.
If you fuck a french woman in a car, she'll scream "ouiouioui" all the way home.
Come on guys, Thrust is mass times velocity initial minus mass times velocity final over time; it's not dating science.
-Rocket Scientist
Guns don't kill people, bullets kill people. However, a gun itself can kill if it's thrown at your face by ex-pitcher Randy Johnson.
Maybe when we actually get flying cars, people will start giving a flying fuck.
They should have had a couple of "Where's Waldo" pages without him to freak people out & turn them into crazy recluses with a lot of cats.
America wants to make contact with extra terrestrials, but if they cross our border & take our jobs, they'll be gone from our contact list.
When someone says they listen to country music, I'll say, "Did you just say cunt tree music you sick fuck"? Haha, I love cunt tree music.
A Fool in Search of his Fool's Gold. A Pyrite's Life for Me.
