@Spooky_Johnson's (Spooky Johnson) most faved Tweets...
After 4 weeks on a low-cholesterol diet, it's become clear that "cholesterol" is just a fancy word for "flavor".
Great. Our dog swallowed a bell from one of the cat toys.
Now every time she farts, an angel gets its wings.
Now every time she farts, an angel gets its wings.
Being a conservative, I set all our clocks back 23 hours. I just can't stomach the idea of moving anything forward.
So sad. A good friend of ours just child-proofed her home today. Three of her four kids have already found their way back in.
I'm sick of hearing that Twitter is "40% pointless babble." Big deal. That's still a good 50% less than Fox News.
Sword swallower on TV just said the one thing he refuses to swallow is "liver."
Noooo. Sorry. The answer we were looking for was "penis".
Noooo. Sorry. The answer we were looking for was "penis".
Does the "5 second rule" apply to pills? Found one on the floor under my chair. Not sure what it does, but taking it just in case.
Just heard that Spongebob has been on the air for TEN years. I've grown up on this show!
Your forties really are the formative years.
Your forties really are the formative years.
If we were all stranded on a mountain after a plane crash, there's no way I could ever eat one of you to survive.
Unless there was gravy.
Unless there was gravy.
I have great corporate healthcare, so I don't think others should have it. Also, people who aren't me should burn forever in a pit of fire.
To those of you without dogs, cats, pet birds, or small children: How was that extra hour of sleep today?
Shopping for a tasteful, elegant inflatable Rudolph for the front yard. We're very picky. We've seen some that look a bit tacky.
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