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I've been growing a tumor this month to raise money for people with moustaches.
Before Shazam if you wished to know who sang a track you had to sing it to tape, record it to vinyl, release it and wait for someone to sue.
It's raining heavily in London. I feel sorry for the people waiting outside the Harry Potter premiere. The two statements are not connected.
I'm not one for abbreviations, but phone hacking should be shorten to 'phacking'. That way the BBC news could call Murdoch a phacking idiot.
Breaking: Last surviving viewer of Titanic dies, aged 97.
I've been growing a tumour this month to raise money for people with moustaches.
You know who I feel sorry for? Norway's only Morrissey tribute act.
Join the dots:
(It's a snake.)
Brokenhearted dyslexics who are also big chickens run away to join the Foghorn Leghorn.
My friend's not pleasant. He once told me he thought Schindler's List was too long. Didn't even know there was a movie.
Keith Chegwin, at the height of his boozing, would vomit in wastepaper baskets & say "That's why they call me Mr. Philbin". Steal that one.
Glad women are finally being acknowledged. It's not like the other half of the world don't think about them every eight seconds or anything.
Love this book of 30s Hollywood gossip columns. So much forgotten slang: "H. G. Wells may be some pumpkins as a novelist...". Some pumpkins!
Donate to David Walliams? Last time I slipped a fiver to a 6'3" sexually ambiguous goosefat-covered man in Speedos... well, I've said enough
Freelance film and TV editor - http://bit.ly/17QWQP - and freelance film and TV historian - http://bit.ly/12CQRh