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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    Gift @Squirreljustice Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 689
    • FAVS
    nocturnologyMiciura2tickytackyGreeblehausDanielRCarrilloICountBeansslippythelion69_Jess_The_Mess
    • 318
    • RETWEETS
    stephtrbCVTBabylippythelion69_Jess_The_Messblitheringidiom__OhgoddessitsmemahatmatweeterJessica__Rayne
    BillMc7painted_eelMolly_KatsGreenishDuck
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    Oh what a tangled web we weave when we ingest a bunch of opiates and try to operate a loom.

    • 659
    • FAVS
    nocturnologyDarrellLund2tickytackyGreeblehausjamesjhamiltonICountBeanssaShiverOfSharks__JasonBerlin
    • 305
    • RETWEETS
    BeeCeeIsHereCVTBabyaShiverOfSharks__billwetter2w_cridercraiglonasbonezwhoJmw22776__
    LipstickSpiceUNTRESOR
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    Guess what overeaters? You're not anonymous.

    • 696
    • FAVS
    Miciura2tickytackysundressed__beccafacexoaShiverOfSharks__Thateverydayguydaisysunshine90__speevis
    • 134
    • RETWEETS
    speevisMrWilson1884nittunisiaHogtownGators____maryy_kathrynnHome_HalfwayJVLIVS_brainsdoc
    larisasays
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    This cop is going to look like such a dumbass trying to give me a field sobriety test while I'm invisible.

    • 475
    • FAVS
    missworld9999beccafacexoICountBeanssaShiverOfSharks__JasonBerlinThateverydayguynittunisiaFoosaingFox
    • 125
    • RETWEETS
    HogtownGators_____solarflareEasterRejectmaryy_kathrynnagentmooreshemightbedrunk__Home_Halfwayistandakimbo
    FattMernandezCleverLinguist
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    It makes me depressed to know that I don't really have a stegosaurus, but rather a very pissed off cat with Doritos superglued to his back.

    • 365
    • FAVS
    2tickytackybeccafacexoBedheadBunnyfreqnicaShiverOfSharks__AdmiralSarcasmThateverydayguyPYWL
    • 200
    • RETWEETS
    aShiverOfSharks__cmtvodka__________madeincanada_Lady_MeadPYWLRick_IZJENsticknpuck82ToonsBrian
    gonnnzoFattMernandez
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    Please don't go out in shorts if your circulatory system is visible.

    • 390
    • FAVS
    2tickytackyyellow3131Donnie_FairburnxSHYxAmburglar_D__M__LJaneErrorejessica79
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyxSHYxJaneErrorr_wolfcastlemaddiewilkDanielRCarrilloFrancesca9243olliev_n
    greenteam15Dong_HangerLipstickSpice
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    I wonder if I'm too old to have Anne Geddes come over and take pictures of me sleeping in a giant bowl of Hamburger Helper.

    • 437
    • FAVS
    arkcubLMortensenMiciuraprincesslisa20RhiannaRaeeonebadmunkythe_salirmojason
    • 88
    • RETWEETS
    Miciuraprincesslisa20JhonRulescarlyataylorSa_xoUtahniatmoney627jwstainton
    diarrheaStellacopter
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    Anyone who owns a waterbed has had at least 2 DUIs.

    • 374
    • FAVS
    lazymacbethckazboehmtayraymayjaypontnAllimp1993LAsPaulTaylor____MeganKahanyshynhoytsterr
    • 121
    • RETWEETS
    MiciuramiguelitoveeBigsby29rubyrubraemjwilkjared_the_bearkushkoalaMollyLathrop
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    Theoretically, you can't really complain if there's a pubic hair on your everything bagel.

    • 321
    • FAVS
    OneSmartFellowMiciuraJasonBerlinJaydenMcKoytdumaaShanehasabeardVegasGalMareIm_Tricia
    • 136
    • RETWEETS
    OneSmartFellowOyAkinolatgdtirstpmoCopperheadSammiDong_HangerBitknee23hungrybeccaHerLoneWolf
    jjmick45
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    I will cut you out of my life forever if I see you squirting ketchup directly on your fries.

    • 321
    • FAVS
    BirsenSuShen__KrawalesqDangyullmaggiedubbssjohn77wmsdubsRoblesGrWallacedielakritze
    • 133
    • RETWEETS
    lazymacbethSorrowAbusedcheripai69__hermanthegerm4nChaosnickischwarzertee666evalia_lordPulau_Punk
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    I ate 15 mozzarella sticks today, but with the wind chill, it was more like 5.

    • 322
    • FAVS
    aShiverOfSharks__ThateverydayguyHogtownGators____michael_himelsix4certainIm_TriciaPlaying_Dadbrainsdoc
    • 125
    • RETWEETS
    A_robb86favstar_historyFrankFecesDong_HangerstupiddumbniceturdfinderJuiceticlesJesssicaRSmith
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    Does anybody know how long PCP lasts? Asking for a Gila Monster sitting at my kitchen table.

    • 360
    • FAVS
    laparker2tickytackyasway93katfoodbreathHerrListtriggertongueavengerjedischnydiddy
    • 67
    • RETWEETS
    mcnabb311undeadpoolKevin_FritzTheJeremyBooherrenegade_jeremyScouseBot23garyorrPaddoCrackr
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    If the dumpster's a rockin', there's a 50% chance I'm in there against my will.

    • 372
    • FAVS
    2tickytackytwerkswithwolfsaShiverOfSharks__JasonBerlinHogtownGators____Im_TriciaPlaying_Dadzzthejimzz
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    ladydior1brainsdocDong_Hangerpurelysweets______karencreets______marxtuckjasonlight73xoStormtrooper
    CVTBabySkunkFarts
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    I wish this microwavable burrito would hurry up and cook. It's not like I have all minute.

    • 301
    • FAVS
    llvvzzjbmcwillieemmygdaveyNiaHughesPeluna333jkramblesRachelLeigh227donnyfward
    • 92
    • RETWEETS
    steveluke7DownFrontArtistchelseadaveymollycateeCryptmaster21RosaCantEvenbraylonsmthbenittto6
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    I should dump a celebratory cooler of Gatorade on this 90 year old lady who just took 9 minutes to sign her name on the credit card display.

    • 306
    • FAVS
    HerrListkinchillaAlastor666________mojitopepeSkyeO01rachaelheinamansucittaMGabbiAlner
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    Alastor666________k_mackdaddyCreamyHamRagingPulpMitchellLJJustCallMeC_AlexMalsHome_Halfway
    JoeyPositivity
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    Never get behind a car with a Phish bumper sticker at the bank drive through. They don't have an account & they're about to run out of gas.

    • 283
    • FAVS
    THATSteveHallmcgarry05Isla_Mujer808HerrListnsn729iratasumughsighshrugLillibetB27
    • 69
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyTHATSteveHallmcgarry05stoeyjarrsughsighshrugLyndaCrainMyBellevueHome_Halfway
    awesomeseankOngoingBS__
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    It sucks when one of my Facebook friends beats my Bejeweled score and I'm forced to bring up their 9th grade abortion.

    • 254
    • FAVS
    2tickytackybeccafacexoJasonBerlinkellyfadamtwitsandgiggledThateverydayguyPYWLPurpleSwtPotato
    • 64
    • RETWEETS
    MPeshGTa__benittto5Favstar250VGLICIOUS_PurpleSwtPotatoGrumpyjenniferAlice_In_Arabiavodkachrome__
    rodneyjoe________
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    My gyno wrote things were "unremarkable" on my chart. Sorry, but there are 67 people and a golden retriever that would say otherwise.

    • 283
    • FAVS
    twerkswithwolfsJasonBerlinPurpleSwtPotatokingstonstreetsevenxx7ericsshadowvodkachrome__Shanehasabeard
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    vodkachrome__horsedreamerFavstar250The_Real_Tao______jonathonmichalsTweetwatcher4Cass_CoeJohnSkylerrox
    vodkachrome__OngoingBS__
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    We're never going to heal as a nation until girls quit sneezing like kitty cats.

    • 246
    • FAVS
    beccafacexoaShiverOfSharks__blakeahendersonJasonBerlinShanehasabeardIm_TriciaPlaying_Dadgreenteam15
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    Kostandinia______obi_ian_kenobiMirandaGrohUp____DudeImShawnHapaKoleaJenquinnhoteljwalkonthemoonkmorgannnn4
    GroperClevelandTrainedHedonistCoy0teUgly________robfee
  • Squirreljustice
      Nikki @Squirreljustice

    I profusely apologize for putting my Favstar link in the comments section of your Nana's online obituary.

    • 242
    • FAVS
    GrabTheWEnessBackpackerBooie__beccafacexoeborg01HollyMemphisJasonBerlinJacobBeltramihayliedianne
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    SuvieDC___k_elvinHome_HalfwaythumbprinzexyzloleeiamsorrythatDBromseydlascell
    Home_Halfway
@Squirreljustice

@Squirreljustice

Grammy Award-winning Liar.

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