Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I've never regretted giving compassion, only whom I've given it to.
I find swearing helps with most fucking stupid situations.
"I'll meet you there at 2."
*starts getting ready at 2.30*
I hate it when the answer is silence.
I don't always make that Law and Order noise but, when I do, it's usually to disguise a fart.
If a tree falls in a wood, could it PLEASE have fallen on you?
I'm starting to think my kids might not understand the concept of internal monologues.
*leaves both earbuds in and pretends I don't notice you talking to me.*
I wish I could do anything as enthusiastically as wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man does his job
What to do with this aching need to serve?
Hey, low talkers.
Try using your "outside" voices.
You look like you taste like chocolate. Imma try me a little taste...
An exorcism, but for your computer.
I'm a semi pro whistler.
Everyone breaks your heart eventually it's just life
I'm a little worm on a big fucking hook. @Girrlgenius owns my ♡ and my cock. Blocked by @E_L_James and loving it.
Like @Squizbot’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Gift them Pro!