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Come what may
THERE'S A REASON IT'S NOT CALLED CHRISTMAS KARONING
Stress runs are my favourite
You tweet like something that ran down the inside your momma's leg and ended up as a stain on my timeline
"Santa Baby" is my favourite song about manipulating the geriatric with sex for monetary gain
Most of the time, I put my earphones in so I don't have to hear you chewing in public
She's Christmas wrapping paper
She's an amber stoplight
I've just gotta
She woke and saw me
Her smile was like the sun newly risen
I couldn't look away
"I, like a whore, must unpack my heart with words"
I asked a female colleague why she doesn't check the men's toilets
"Because they'd most likely try to show me their dick"
Men are crap
If you see this ... for a while but you only get a short response it's because I thought of something else to say
Functionally miserable. Grateful pessimist. Earlobe enthusiast. The radiant @GirrlGenius gives me a ♡on. http://gofundme.com/jillandnick