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Network Rep: What do you do most with your smartphone?
Me: Charge it.
"It's not how you start, but how you finish" doesn't include on her face
My sis, never having watched Game of Thrones, walked in on me watching a s4 episode and asked "what have I missed?"
There are no words.
Congratulations on finding a selfie angle that hides your chins
This whole living without her thing?
I'm over it.
Lent; the Facebook of obligations
Long story short, Gavin will eat anything you put ranch dressing on
Gavin is now steering the plane by libido alone
Delta have hired the tiny engineers to perform in-flight repairs and various menial tasks, like stapling snoring passengers mouths closed
The tiny engineers have called a strike and are lobbying their union for a more attractive vessel
A tiny rope ladder unrolled from inside Gavin's mouth, and a crew of tiny overalled engineers are performing repairs on his exterior
Gavin is watching Whiplash and claiming he could such J. Jonah Jameson's dick like a pro
Gavin has initiated a sing-a-long. He has chosen the music of Pantera. He is about to be tasered.
Gavin has removed his shoes. Who knew that you could fit THAT MANY toes in a single sock. He is as a Manipede.
Gavin has begun divinating using the beef stroganoff.
He's predicted 72 accidental deaths, one lottery win and a 3 headed baby.
Gavin is reenacting The Imitation Game in the rear left toilet, but it's mostly him barking into the mirror.
Functionally miserable. Grateful pessimist. Earlobe enthusiast. My Mrs @GirrlGenius gives me a ♡on. http://gofundme.com/jillandnick
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