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"Major Tom, this is Ground Control. Ok. We need you to be a little less philosophical and a bit more into problem solving right now. Copy?"
"No. Kill her. I want her dead. Gunshot wound. No debate on this." Walt Disney, when asked if Bambi's mother should have a pinkish nose 1942
I hate the paparazzi. In the 1860s you had to stand perfectly still for 15 minutes in order for them to get the proper exposure.
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, she didn't know what to do. But Child Protective Services did.
Good Morning America. Few people realize you don't have to commit a felony to enjoy your Constitutional right to remain silent.
After John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence, the other signers thought it would be hilarious to write their names super tiny.
Question: If the moon landings were faked, why did they go through all the trouble of making Tang taste so delicious?
The way a person reacts when they accidentally spill a drink speaks volumes about their childhood.
Trust me, it's a challenge to look patriotic when the horse you are riding has diarrhea.
"This is crazy, but here's my number. Call me maybe." ~Alexander Graham Bell, 1875
The worst part about turning into a Zombie is all that hard work and money for a college degree goes down the drain.
Sarah Palin is not a quitter. Alaska is a fake state. It would be like getting mad at me for leaving the Justice League.
Tip: When someone asks a complicated question you don't understand, just say: "Only time will tell." You will appear introspective.
Remember when Mike and Jan Brady accidentally switched their poster tubes? My God, Mike could have lost his job.
If I had the honor of being on the $20 dollar bill, I would've gotten a haircut - or at least ran a comb through my hair. Just saying.
To those who complain about the Twitter Elite: Hello? I can read. It is quite hurtful. Please be considerate of my feelings. Fame is a curse
"He can be so hurtful." A teary Michelangelo as Pope Julius II calls the Sistine Chapel ceiling "Too busy for my taste." 1515
America's first tattle-tail. I love history and horses and getting caught in the rain.
