Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Nobody does the sad end of a phone call better than Paul Giamatti.
A good head + a good heart = a formidable combination. So is you + not tweeting.
I didn't watch the sound of music last night because my tv has other channels.
Childbirth can't be worse than feeling like you lost your phone.
It's freezing in L.A. today (58 degrees) so we're all bundled up (wearing light fashion scarves).
Sorry I'm late, it took 3 hours to get my collar to stick out of my sweater just right.
Easy to forget that the second act of The Sound of Music is mostly swastikas.
I always watch live TV events because there's always the chance someone will shit themselves.
I bet Anne Hathaway's mom always had to pick her up in the middle of the night at slumber parties.
Let's compare an amazing man to an alcoholic cartoon dog - Twitter
The closest I'll probably ever come to time travel is meeting someone who's still offended by swearing.
Loving him was red, blue is the warmest color, and orange is the new black. -- 2013
Remember, the tweet you favorite now could be a conversation starter later. Stay frosty.
"Yes! The new Mustang came out!" -uncles
It's under 50 degrees in LA right now!
There's actual frost forming around our phoniness.
List of terrible people:
2. Osama Bin Laden
3. People that say "redonkulous"
4. Joseph Stalin
Cubicle Slave, Mediocre Writer, Street Urchin & You Fucked Up In '93. ..Poison Cocksuckers. Instagram: @_jem90 #FuckCancer #ValleyScum