@StarsOverBama's (Michael) most faved Tweets...
Every guy dreams of 2 hot identical twins to be with. My son meets his at 14 and I'm still waiting. FML
When your spouse snores like a banshee, do you ever put a pillow over their face, and put the dog on top? Me either.
Kids these days. Outside in t-shirts and shorts in 40 deg weather. At least when we were teens, we'd get all liquored up first!
So let me get this straight, #TweetCloud is all of your embarrassing thoughts gathered into one place? Oh great! #sarcasm
I really enjoy the heavy breathing that you're doing on my telecon by not muting your phone, but did you have to fart too?
Flatulence must have been a real problem for the early pioneers of the western frontier. You're darn tootin' it was!
Shot some skeet on Saturday. Can't find out how to cook them. They are too crunchy and leave your teeth DayGlo orange.
Was changing my oil, making sure dipstick moved easy, lubed everything up nice, & checked the chassis too. My girl says "What about me?" ;-D
Can we put training pants on all of the managers on Mondays, so when they have a shit fit, it doesn't go everywhere?
"Patience is the ability to resist the overwhelming urge to choke the living shit out of someone that desperately deserves it" - UNK
These fun-size candies are about right to make little splints with. Which solves at least 2 problems when you're all liquored up.
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar