Don't be that annoying kid that always complains about school, "when are we ever gunna actually use this?"

Spent an entire lecture distracted because my professor kept saying "symmetrize" and I refused to believe its actually a word. #quantumprobs

Never underestimate how heroic a man can be when a crisis arises.

Nothing like a quantum exam to start off my Monday morning, but on the plus side it should only take about 7 or 8 hours. #killmenow

My mom gives the best advice in the world. #solucky

Fighting Ducks has got to be the least threatening mascot ever.

"I noticed you stopped tanning."
Translation: "You're pale as fuck."

Googled one of my math problems, the 1st hit was in Spanish, the 2nd was in French, and the 3rd was in Taiwanese, but it's all Greek to me.

So oxy means sharp and moron means dull? Oxymoron is an oxymoron.

Euler-Lagrangian equations on the first day... Are. You. Fucking. Kidding?

Just found the minimum speed of a Ping-Pong ball according to Schrödingers equation... Watch out, Beer Pong opponents.

“@chieftwittler: there's a difference between joking and being a bully” @laurschur3 #YouKnowWho #NotVoldemort

"Mom, dad, I'm dropping out. Take your pick: prostitute, drug dealer, or stripper?" my mom,"honey, don't sell yourself short. Be all 3."

"I'm a physics major" "oh, so you wanna teach?" "no?" why does EVERYONE think that's the only option?

"Look at that GORILLA!! What the hell is he DOING?!?" --my dad watching the Giants vs Cards game.

Sorry everyone that got a weird DM from me, it's spam I think. I have no idea how it happened lol.

If you walk slowly in front of me I hope you know I'm dreaming about stepping on your heels.

I wonder what life would be like if I didn't procrastinate.

"What the FUCK is a 'Cloud Cake'?" "It's like a Twinkie!!" "Are you fucking serious?"

I think my brother wanted to kill himself when he was watching me put his USB into my laptop. For 2 minutes.