@StereoForBrains' most faved Tweets...
Daughter: Look! A falling star! Son: Wow! No, wait, it's Jay Leno! Father: Settle down, children. You're both right.
Having your own Twitter page as your website link on your Twitter profile page is the new 'how do you keep an idiot busy?' joke.
Anyone that says "You can't force genius" has obviously never tried pushing Stephen Hawkins down the stairs. It's super easy.
Times like these I wish I could wear a cape in public. By "times like these" I'm referring to every moment of my boring cape-less existence.
My brother told me I have a problem and am addicted to Favstar and Twitter. What a dick who has a really good point.
Pencil sharpeners are the teases of the office supply world. No mater what, you can only put in just the tip.
Microsoft Word just closed down; mid-paragraph, after I bumped it a little. I didn't realize I was working on a fancy Etch-A-Sketch.
And now I just got my first 50 star tweet on @Favstar This must be what Jesus felt like when he got his first 50 star tweet.
Actually, I don't sleep 10-12 hours a night because I'm lazy. I just like increasing the odds of being asleep when I die. Also, I'm lazy.
I like my women like my coffee. Naked, some chocolate syrup...Also, I stopped talking about coffee about 11 words ago... NAILED IT!!!
I saw a hipster earlier who was wearing a huge gold chain like an old school rapper, but it was the skinny jeans that made him look phat.
My third most popular joke on @Favstar is about pushing a disabled man down the stairs. I love you guys and your hate filled hearts.
I predict that Danny Glover will die on the toilet. Turns out he will actually be too old for that shit. #ClassyJokes
When health care reforms, I hope it takes the shape of pegasus-bears. Because those aren't a thing. Yet.
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar