'my son asked why women pee sitting down, I told him that they're lazy.'

Don't turn a teenage pregnancy into a cute thing. Just don't.

Annoying when a girl post a picture of a simple meal and say "wifey material" cooking from a box isn't hard. Relax

@d_stunner69 getting cheated on shhr

'just what I wanted, my son half drunk at mother's day breakfast.' - my mom

Apparently my sister is a dumb bitch

Everyone is annoying after one hour.

Funny when girls take pictures on the weekends and make a conscious effort to show the alcohol they're drinking in the picture. Chill ma

Idk if I should go to Carly yoshidas UCLA farmers market or Josh Lorentzens frat car wash. Mhmm

It's really funny when a beyond slutty girl preaches relationship advice.

I need more drunk friends to tell jokes to.

Funny when girls take ig pictures with pre-workout. Relax bitch

Shout out to the Laker fans for being non existent this season.

Calmdown girl ain't nobody trying to be your babies daddy.

How is transformation Tuesday a thing? Come on guys

Hate when I accidentally like someone picture from 48 weeks ago on Instagram... #creep

Annoying how almost every girl misses each other. Shut up you superficial idiots

'Na but fuckin' - how David James starts every conversation. @d_stunner69

Sad when someone has let you down consistently enough that it doesn't even surprise you anymore.

I wanna get so drunk that I can taste sound