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My selfie stick is just a regular stick, but when I see someone taking a selfie I poke them with it.
I generally prefer fiction to memoir because there’s always a better chance, however slight, of a giant robot attack on the next page.
In the hot new reality show The Bachelard, a houseful of philosopher contestants compete to interpret the material space they share.
How many literary agents does it take to change a lightbulb?
We read your joke with interest, but are not enthusiastic enough to finish it.
New Idea: Buy an old jail and make it a writers' retreat where residents get locked in (and fed!) until their book is finished.
When Halloween comes, remind me I want to go as Linked In. I’ll just knock on the same door over and over.
How do I turn off "track changes" in my mirror?
Had to take down the birch tree where my agent lives (you’ll recall he’s a squirrel). Hope I don’t come to regret this, professionally.
My daughter says my new glasses make me look like I know what I’m talking about. So I’ll have to keep them through her teen years.
“The characters in this novel did not grow at all! The font was the same size at the beginning as the end. One star."
Fun fact: There isn’t a single personal essay left online that hasn’t been referred to as “brave” by someone on Twitter.
Books happen because of the publishing business; literature happens despite it.
'American novelist' ~ The Guardian ∙ 'Doesn't maintain this tone' ~ Kirkus || Author of FRAM, THE BEE-LOUD GLADE, and SCRATCH (2016) || Editor of @NecessaryFic
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