“Katy Perry: Blue hair Nicki Minaj Pink hair.Rihanna: Red hair Lady Gaga: Green hair. Oh my gosh, the Power Rangers are back!”

Girlfriend : Babe , What´s Your Fav Position? ;) Boyfriend : When I Get On One Knee and Make You My Wife.

Boy: hey dad I got a girlfriend Dad: Good job son! Girl: Hey daddy I got a boyfriend Dad: *loads shotgun*

I don't have an attitude problem. I have an attitude that you have a problem with

Chris Brown hits her, Eminem lies to her, Drake can't remember her name = The life of Rihanna

Your ex asking to stay friends after you break up is like kidnappers asking to stay in touch after they let you go.

I don't have ex's, I have y's. Y the hell did I do that?

i text you a whole paragraph within 5 minutes and you text me back 40 minutes later saying "K" ... Are you asking to be punched?

Who woke me up ?

My answer: God

Who died for me ?

My answer: Jesus

RT if you love God, keep scrolling if you dont 

When people yawn, do deaf people think thier screaming???

I hate it when teachers say, ”You think its funny?" Obviously. That’s why I laughed, bitch

That awkward moment when you realize you’re walking in the wrong direction, so you hit your pockets pretending you forgot something

Hey mom... mom, mom, mom, mommy, mom, mom, mom, mom! WHAT?! Whoa! Never mind then...

Welcome to the Karma Cafe. There are no menus, you will get served what you deserve

Seeing your ex with someone uglier than you is the best feeling in the world.

"Dear face wash commercials, People don't actually splash their face like that. Sincerely, my bathroom floor which is now soaking wet.

Talk shit , get hit , cause and effect , learn it bitch

You're 13, you smoke, drink, and have sex? I sense you have a bright future ahead of you.

I wish I had Dora's parents. They let that bitch go everywhere.

Father's Day, the most confusing day in the ghetto.