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I tried jogging with no bra. It worked! I got a ride in less than a minute.
Forget the G-spot guys. The ladies here are just as thrilled if you can find the Fav and RT buttons.
Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
When I eat a banana in public, I always put one hand behind my head.
Alcohol won’t solve my problems, but neither will milk or orange juice.
Had a very confident breakdown today. Wasn't nervous at all.
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
Party like no one invited you.
I practice bitchcraft.
My 12 step program involves parking closer to the liquor store door.
Got stuck in an elevator today with 3 women. We eventually experimented.
I’m glad they have those “Confirm Your Age” buttons on porn sites to keep the children out.
I was told that people can die from anything. To be safe, I’m not doing anything anymore.
Torn between tweeting, starring, retweeting or getting a life.
My GPS is useless. It has a male voice and I always disagree with his stupid ideas.
Some guys don’t know when to quit. Others don’t know when to start.
I've always wanted a penis but it would have to be detachable so I could still get free stuff when i need it.
Reading a magazine waiting at the checkout and was told, “this is not a library”, so I read it out loud.
My jeans are so tight you can see my tattoo.
When I’m pulling carcass bones out of homemade soup, I feel like I’m solving a cold case.
A doctor removed my bio. http://favstar.fm/users/Stexcy