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I'm not saying I'm better than Elvis, but I just passed out on the toilet and didn't die.
Pretty cool how the blue raspberry Blow-pop I just ate makes me look like I just gave a Smurf an epic blowjob.
I didn't mean to yell. I'm at the mall and I get crabby at the mall. It's full of girly shit and materialism. Ugh!
My Christmas wish is that Miley Cyrus stops showing me her clitoris.
obese people use ranch dressing like regular people use oxygen. there's a lesson there I think
Building a sun porch out of CD jewel cases.
Way cool. In the next twitter update we're going to be able to retweet DMs.
I gots shot NINE times, yo.
- 50 Centaur
I wonder what President Barack Obama’s..
"horny singles in your area"
popup ad would look like?
A bunch of slime came out when this half-man half-horse was born but it's okay…
Was just the Placentaur
I like any type of Liquor in the Winter.
The Riddler had a great aesthetic.
You can't put cheese on the underside of a cracker. It's not right.
Got behind on my Friday Follows back in 2009 and I don't think I'll ever catch up.
Putting a whole new meaning to some deepthroat.
Is it an exit or an entrance? Ummm it's a revolving door.
Now that you can send pictures in DMs, I wish it was possible to buy stock in dick pics
Friends are like panties. Some crawl up your ass, get a little twisted, some are cheap and plain nasty.
The worst one’s are full of shit.
just over here cracking myself up don't mind me
I'm pretty sure the last pure form of humanity to take place was Mia Wallace dancing with Vinny Vega
A doctor removed my bio. http://favstar.fm/users/Stexcy