Canadians are sexy as fuck but Australians win music.

I just want Trace Adkins to win because he "didn't come to dick around!"

I'm pretty down with the Afro.

Don't you wish your girlfriend would just shut the fuck up.

Taylor Swift is Artist of the Year? Humanity, we are never ever getting back together.

"You're my boo." - possessive ghost

I'm pretty sure everyone on the titanic could have floated to safety on Nicki Minaj's fake inflatable ass. #BMA

Every Sunday without fail, I lay in my bed regretting carbs.

Can't wait for the Jonas Brothers' acoustic show.

Could somebody check the temperature in Hell. I'm in a mother fucking Walmart for the first time in almost 3 years.

I have never fallen out of love it's more like plummeting at light speed into I could easily chop your fucking head & balls off n not blink

I wish I could stop smiling but killing that clown made me feel alive for the first time in my life.

Stalk me harder, dammit!

- me, to everyone

HuffPo says, "Justin Bieber is officially bigger than Elton John."
WOW! How much does the Beaver weigh now??

Don’t look for things you don’t want to find

Technically, anyone who lives on Earth can classify their complaints as Third World Problems.

I sculpted your likeness out of Mascarpone cheese.

I will wait, I will wait, for you.

- Mumford

only 3 more months until my therapist comes back from her leave of absence and I can give sanity a try again.

I went to the Billboard Music Awards and all I got was kicked in the face by Miguel because he thought he was in Street Fighter.