Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I can help your life get better.
*never talks to you again
Cat pictures are the cock blockers of boob pictures on social media.
Let he who hasn't had frozen waffles for dinner cast the first stone.
I learned how to french kiss by licking stamps.
Dear girl with the glasses, fucking notice me already
I shaved my balls for this?
If your dick was as big as the lies you tell, I might pretend to believe them.
I gave up on dieting when I made cupcakes for dinner.
On here I'm called boring & a downer but the people I see all the time tell me I'm smiley & bubbly. You can't please everyone so don't try.
Well fuck a whole buncha this.
Time is made out of single moments in our day. Take the time and focus on the moment that mean the most.
—G’nite folks Xx
Nothing helps me express my true self quite like vague generalizations.
Tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich when you're sick is better than sex.
Off to bed. I ask that you all unfollow me in my sleep. It's less painful that way.
Just bit my cheek so hard that I saw the face of my unborn son Marcus and frankly he was kind of lame.
All underwear is edible if you subscribe to the supportive nature of honey baked ham.
I guess having shitty self esteem wouldn't be so bad. You'd save a butt load of time not taking selfies.
Went to Starbucks and ordered a Coke. They handed me a can with my name misspelled.