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@StillDrew's (Drew (Not a Guy) H) recent favourites. See who @StillDrew favs the most...
Xytrex
When asked “what is your greatest fear?” My response is simple. My greatest fear is that I'll not live long enough to finish what I starte
@Xytrex
4
StillDrewpenblethEggSoupMeesterNick
jane_bot
Odds are that no one remembered to drug these donuts but that's not gonna stop me from saying they were after I fall asleep in this meeting.
@jane_bot
6
TymethiefkyleveBlondHousewifeStillDrewbloberttopnotchtutor
k2bf
If you added all the Joes in the world together and then divided by the total number of Joes, then you have me – just an Average Joe.
@k2bf
ocean1blue
@MeetingBoy Resignation via text works too; only need 2 letters: FU. Smiley face optional.
@ocean1blue in reply to MeetingBoy
8
MeetingBoyTymethiefStillDrewmana_bearpenblethtopnotchtutorJeanM617IamPinky
DRUNKHULK
SERIOUS! 11,000 FOLLOWER! AND NO ONE OF YOU EXPLAIN DRUNK HULK THAT URINAL CAKE NO REAL CAKE!
@DRUNKHULK
7
superduperjesJezebelTheGreatkattcallsGabryylStillDrewDesperate_Loserkay_dubbayoo
DRUNKHULK
LISTEN PEOPLES! IF YOU QUOTE DAN BROWN IN DEBATE WITH DRUNK HULK! YOU LOSE AUTOMATIC! QUOTE JAMES BROWN! YOU MIGHT WIN!
@DRUNKHULK
4
J_EthanhacopianhereonthelevelStillDrew
jasonmustian
Some of my best friends have friends who are black.
@jasonmustian
14
iamjustcaraJohnnyChimpoelibradenNerdy_NoraStillDrewVaginaDrumItsOkBlameMeSuperfluouslyJenn819darcikelleyBettyLiessourcowsQuinnKkellan_standley
jasonmustian
One day the Supreme Court will overturn Alien v. Predator. One day.
@jasonmustian
Punkrockie
I got 99 problems but an original joke isn't.. anywhere.. on the list..

*cough*

WHAT IS UP WITH THESE CHEATING HUSBANDS AMIRIGHT?!?
@Punkrockie
bedheadblonde
Six: MOM! SHE'S-

Eleven: Shhh! Don't be a narc!

David: Have I thanked you lately for teaching them to say "narc" instead of "tattle tale"?
@bedheadblonde
Tony_D
You will pry my Oxford comma from my cold, dead, and lifeless hands.
@Tony_D
TheUnsayable
I can't believe after a lifetime of searching, THIS has become my hobby.
@TheUnsayable
114
Spinchangelucyspetfactualfictionkambrockavi1111Miss_CookNikiWithIssuesjoesmithreallyRickster_01bitterpussjuicymorselHormonellastupenduitsdonnaokStillDrew99VIEW
ALL
ruthakers
Lady next door's dryer just caught on fire
This is why I don't do laundry
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW NAYSAYERS OF HOUSEKEEPING ENDING IN TRAGEDY?
@ruthakers
bitterpuss
My inner child just told me she's adopted.
@bitterpuss
nyccabgirl
You’re a worthy nemesis, pollen. I declare cab fortress of solitude yet you ride a breeze in through open window. Well fucking played.
@nyccabgirl
10
NotHotdavio1962JezebelTheGreatwifeoftjapricoticatrixiebootsMidSeaMomStillDrewTrick_or_tweetblondediva11
AlexKaseberg
Fess Parker died. It is a sad day for everyone but raccoons who didn't want to become hats.
@AlexKaseberg
1
StillDrew
Yidago
Daylight savings time: Good for farmers, bad for people who masturbate in their car while driving home from work.


Um...so I've heard.
@Yidago
cpinck
My son didn't like tonight's kid’s menu. Told me there way no way he was going to eat the chicken’s tenders.
@cpinck
peterfitzwel
Cracker Barrel has to be the most appropriately named restaurant for it's target demographic.
@peterfitzwel
TheBosha
Ignore it and it'll go away.
@TheBosha
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