@StillDrew's (Drew (Not a Guy) H) recently faved Tweets...
I downloaded the Where's Waldo app on my phone. Now I can't find Waldo or the phone. That Waldo is really good.
I'm trying to remember the tweet that I was gonna post that was gonna be hilarious but at this hour I forget. Sorry.
8
Lots of unanswerable mysteries in life. Why is the sky blue? Where do babies come from? Why is there a fork in my purse?
I resent your use of the word ‘abuser.’ I’ve never raised my voice much less my hand. If anything I’m a supporter or an alcohol ‘advocate.’
Aerodynamically a bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly and legally I shouldn’t make moonshine in my garage. But we all do what is necessary.
That's it. No more wasting wine glasses when wine already comes in a perfectly good bottle-shaped glass.
“But I posted it on Facebook.”
“And all this time I’ve been going to CNN for news when I should just read your Facebook status. My mistake.”
“And all this time I’ve been going to CNN for news when I should just read your Facebook status. My mistake.”
16
30-minute rule for donuts, right? Don’t judge. I can see it from here and I’ll get to it as soon as I’m done with this bacon-sicle.
15
"You go girl!" is no longer an acceptable way to show support and approval. Especially if you're over 55. Seriously, Mom, don't. Just don't.
At a Mexican restaurant for a St. Patty’s Day dinner. I’m hoping the green margaritas will counteract the effects of the green tacos.
12
Many thanks to all of my new followers. I promise to disappoint at least half of you. I will likely offend the other half. Hugs anyway.
11
You’re drowning in your own stupidity. I’d throw you a life preserver but I don’t want to get any moron on my dress. I just had it cleaned.
I'm about to watch Justified. I kinda need someone come tie me to the couch so I don’t lick the TV every time Timothy Olyphant is onscreen.
5
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can see this, thank Al Gore.
If you can hear this, thank the LSD.
If you can see this, thank Al Gore.
If you can hear this, thank the LSD.
Just gave a woman at Starbucks an impatient look for taking too long to pick a drink. Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.
I’d tweet my location but I don’t want you all rushing to Chuck E. Cheese again trying to bogart the skeeball.
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