@StndrdBitch's (A.Real.Bitch) most faved Tweets...
Looking out the window I see the garden needs tending. Weeds. Watering. Taking care of that now. Closing blinds.
Yes. I know they say that 4 hour erection might be bad for you. But. Why does it always have to be about *you*?
The doctors at the hospital told me smoking was really bad for my health. I almost spilled the Seagrams I was laughing so fucking so hard.
There's a procedure where they take fat cells from your butt to put in your lips. It gives a whole new meaning to talking out of your ass.
OH HAI new little followers! C'mon in. Sit by the fire. Here. Have a martini. NO! DON'T SIT THERE! NEVER THERE!
For everyone who didn't get a personal #FF mention. Well. Get the fuck over it. I'm usually funny. No one EVER said I was nice.
Have any of you ever sat, naked, on a line of coke and then had cyber sex? Yeah. Okay. Me neither. Really.
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar