@StrangeNinja's (Harriet Tubman) most faved Tweets...
Man whistling 'My Favorite Things' from the Sound of Music claims to be straight. Riiight...I mean if that's what you need to tell your wife
The bitch on this exercise video just told me this would be the best 20min of my day
I sure the hell hope not
Back to bed just in case
I sure the hell hope not
Back to bed just in case
There are grown men that are jealous of the amount of leg hair I am currently sporting.
My husband is NOT one of them...
My husband is NOT one of them...
Why would someone put a full length mirror directly facing a toilet? I sure have always wanted to stare into my eyes while I drop a deuce.
I don't keep a water bowl out for my animals. If they are thirsty they can drink out of the toilet like the kids do.
You're kid is ugly. I'm not gonna apologize. It's your fault. You knew u were gonna make ugly kids. That's why u got your face plasticized.
Quote of the day: "Why don't you drink some wine. It'll make your muscle relaxer work better"--thanks mom.
Yeah I just threw a hissy fit & shoved your shit off your desk. What are you gonna do about it, fire me? Oh..You ARE gonna fire me? Shitty.
I finally shaved my legs today.
Don't worry. I saved all the hair and am sending it to Locks of Love.
Don't worry. I saved all the hair and am sending it to Locks of Love.
My snide comments in my *genius* british accent are making this movie SO much better. You're welcome.
I love seein the guy in the Armani suit buying Ramen noodles.
Your shoes might be more expensive, but my dinner is better.
Win=Ninja
Your shoes might be more expensive, but my dinner is better.
Win=Ninja
My hair=smell great+look terrible
Your Mom=smell terrible+looks great
Did you see what I did there?
Lesson is: Looks are deceiving.
Your Mom=smell terrible+looks great
Did you see what I did there?
Lesson is: Looks are deceiving.
I'm sorry to inform u that denim dresses & tube socks are not a "Classic" look. You've been misled. I'm truly sorry, but its time to move on
16
Quote of the day: "No that's not confusing. That's just wrong."
Courtesy of my cunt German boss.
Just in case I didn't hate myself enough
Courtesy of my cunt German boss.
Just in case I didn't hate myself enough
16
When I go to the store in sweatpants I like to let them hang too low, walk really slutty and then yell, "why tha hell ya'll starin @ me for"
16
Christmas: The time of year when you are forced to hang out with the family you avoid the rest of the year.
15
Had some leftover PF Changs in my car. Left, then got back in.
It smells strangely close to the odor of Asian vagina.
It smells strangely close to the odor of Asian vagina.
14
I think car wreaths are dumb so if you have one, I will assume you are dumb and speak very slowly.
13
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