If you fave this tweet I'll like your next fb update.

We will release a new album this year.

Hindsight can be a bitch. http://t.co/1ZpXm2y

The us postal service is still the safest way to send naked pics of yourself to friends. #oldschool #donotbend

Its never too late for shots.

We tweet as a band and alternate typing words so we never really know what direction the sentence is going to hamburger pantyhose.

BREAKING: In a stunning reversal, Pres. Obama WILL release part of the nation's strategic Jägermeister reserve for our 9/29 Baltimore show.

#ff @thebird aka Blackfire cc @fat, @stirman, @nick, @dhg, @kocodude

You can download our latest songs for free here: http://t.co/oqTYjJU

Operation Don't Fuck It Up This Time was a #greatsuccess

We have replaced water with Fireball Whiskey in every aspect of our lives.

Since you can't hide tracks anymore, our new album will have a hidden computer virus. It makes your phone dial your exes when you're drunk.

If @shitmydadsays got a tv show, @patheticpaul should get a movie trilogy.

Put 'em on the Google Glass.

Ever been to Panama City FL in May? Gorgeous!

Raffle tix to see us there at the Rock By The Sea fundraiser:  https://secure.qgiv.com/for/rocksea/event/20406/ …

Our Stroke 9 pledge: To suck less every gig.

STROKE 9 LIVE IN ATLANTA!

We're @peachtreetavern on January 19th. That's soon so get your crew together and get there.
cc @jagermeisterusa

Thank God for people that tweet "good morning." I woke up and immediately started getting ready for bed. Then I saw the tweets and went "oh"

Life- everything that happens between cups of coffee.

Why can't I turn Christian rock off fast enough but can listen to hours of Reggae, the most overtly religious music around? Oh right, ganja.