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I say tomato. You say tomato. This doesn't really work in print.
If the Virgin Mary had aborted Jesus would she have gotten pregnant 3 days later? Asking for a friend.
Can you help out Stu McCallister? He is a 40 year old comic with a struggling career. He just wants to have his name trending. Please RT.
The #SCOTUS has ruled the Buffalo Sabres were screwed out of the Stanley Cup in 1999. #NoGoal
Rappers are becoming modern day philosophers and that is just Ludacris.
I wrote an article for @absrdnews today. Go give it a lookover. http://www.absrdcomedy.com/2014/08/12/chinese-checkers/ …
Taco Bell has a chef? That's like saying Payday Loans has financial advisors.
So Miley Cyrus is the new Batman?
Every 20 minutes a child is diagnosed with autism. You know who figured that out? A child with autism.
Sometimes I am surprised when I see Asian children with Asian parents.
I wish there was a gym for people to work on their personalities.
Contributing writer to Letterman, Contributing writer to Kimmel. Twitter farce
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