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  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    But what if I wanna go big AND go home?

    • 361
    • FAVS
    motorace177AchtungBaby17ruraljulesterrycjttherealrailsmalbecprincessfgboof_CU96
    • 223
    • RETWEETS
    motorace177rear_ypatcoholicterrycjthawkh8termalbecprincess_CU963rd_darkangel
    ratamack
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Light a guy's truck on fire one fucking time, and suddenly you're "unstable".

    • 271
    • FAVS
    richerdpicturesMcCutty1delpradogroupmah_ldnJStanger11mrshaileyw_91AllanCuttsvonntrapp81
    • 152
    • RETWEETS
    richerdpicturesMcCutty1darrius1093JudgeDewieJangusoneTheSweetestD_Snarferninimotorace177
    wesjohnson8
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I wish The Bachelor was more like The Hunger Games & the girls had to kill each other to find love. I'd probably watch a season or 2 of that

    • 216
    • FAVS
    Per_Incuriamstephieann_lovemotorace177_CU96hermanlwilkesDomesticFodderarcherVoltShaistaJustin
    • 123
    • RETWEETS
    motorace177_CU96hermanlwilkesarcherVoltShaistaJustinDBMaxPFitterandBetterjustmejustB
    Liberty_Junkie
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    A good friend just got engaged by means of a flash mob that he set up. Equally impressive, I ate an entire box of cereal w/ my hands tonight

    • 184
    • FAVS
    andyfwhitemotorace177_CU96KaraMontecalvosandymac5Ivegotmymojochitownjimmyxoxjamilskie1
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    motorace177_CU96havana_bluexanerdonfirePHDaniel_Streettsm560sirmunchiethenoahkinsey
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I hate when I accidentally say "thank you" instead of "I hate your stupid face".

    • 163
    • FAVS
    motorace177AchtungBaby17_CU96louisjewell3rd_darkangelBenjaw1nStevenKConlonJanki_35
    • 87
    • RETWEETS
    motorace177_CU963rd_darkangelBenjaw1nPHDaniel_StreetTweeterMediocreprinc3sskittennextmrolympia
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Huh. So it turns out that when a guy asks for a pic, he wants to see your boobs, not some other guy's penis. Online dating is hard.

    • 153
    • FAVS
    motorace177DBMaxPmarybrinninglouly34StevenKConlonsherrymparkerTySmitty410amberrbelle
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    motorace177PC_Banned_HumorGlomarResponderjeepguyBradsherrymparkerPHDaniel_StreetMissGixxerflashmobforever
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Do you think thin mints are naturally thin? I bet they can eat whatever they want and never even have to work out. Bitches.

    • 139
    • FAVS
    BAWilsonWritesmotorace177ilanaslightlyLucasMightAchtungBaby17terrycjtpsizzle1Fem_Hootman
    • 71
    • RETWEETS
    kellimjonesbradgjonesBAWilsonWritesmotorace177LucasMightpatcoholicterrycjt_CU96
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Pull your shirt back down super skinny guys with 6-pack abs. I'm about as impressed with that as u are with big tits on fat chicks.

    • 99
    • FAVS
    tsm560Mommywatchthisericdynamic83sirmunchieALadiesHeartpradogodhistwaddleMackswellPerry
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    riley3011tsm560sirmunchiepradogodhistwaddlezak_essackdreamthievinhirojesus
    OhYeahILiedSouthernboy_420
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Helping a friend w/ her online dating profile. Just spun "unemployed & spends most of the day watching Judge Judy" into "Well versed in law"

    • 78
    • FAVS
    _CU96K8Austentsm560MommywatchthissirmunchieALadiesHeartNinjaSweatpantspradogod
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    _CU96tsm560sirmunchieNinjaSweatpantspradogodhistwaddleBrroooookeeCubicalRon
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Anyone know if you can die of chapped lips?

    • 74
    • FAVS
    KitcataliciousMMerithewDBMaxPtimspringaL_es_lieTweeterMediocrenextmrolympiatsm560
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    DBMaxPL_es_lienextmrolympiatsm560sirmunchieModerateBenderjssarALadiesHeart
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I have NOTHING to wear! *me, right before a massive breakdown laying shirtless on my bedroom floor surrounded by clothes.

    • 75
    • FAVS
    AchtungBaby173rd_darkangeltsm560asanders1972Mommywatchthisminniemay69NIKKIDIAMONDS80sirmunchie
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    3rd_darkangeltsm560minniemay69NIKKIDIAMONDS80sirmunchieSoFiyahDALadiesHeartmcibty
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Hey, if you don't want me to call you a fucktard...Maybe. Don't. Be one.

    • 66
    • FAVS
    AchtungBaby17_CU963rd_darkangelBrianIncognitoL_es_lieTweeterMediocrenextmrolympiatsm560
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    _CU96princesati523rd_darkangelMissGixxernextmrolympiatsm560sirmunchieProudPapaDuffy
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why is life so hard? And why are these brownies so good? A memoir.

    • 56
    • FAVS
    _CU96nextmrolympiasirmunchienice_sometimesJanuaryGrayskatieee_kaaayALadiesHearthistwaddle
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    _CU96sirmunchieALadiesHeartVodkaTiemAxenbanetsunami__7PicklesnPicklesVicFuture
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Yeah, that's right. I look pretty good considering I keep a Big Mac in my purse as an emergency snack almost daily.

    • 58
    • FAVS
    olerunkbitchiNickuDBMaxPsirmunchieALadiesHearthistwaddletsunami__7TlaxBoy05
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    DBMaxPsirmunchieTlaxBoy05ajanninckCubicalRonwillowfrantnmrjohntofunerdysongbird__
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    If you tell me "it could always be worse", I will immediately bash you in the face with my 9-iron just to prove you right.

    • 44
    • FAVS
    _CU96pradogodsirmunchiehistwaddlekellysolodukatsunami__7TlaxBoy05CubicalRon
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    _CU96pradogodsirmunchieTlaxBoy05CubicalRonTimYeomannerdysongbird__breely216
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Pro tip: Never eat pie while standing up, or else everyone in the restaurant will notice that you're crying.

    • 46
    • FAVS
    GoodgirlBaddest__sirmunchiehistwaddletsunami__7Huber138WickedRapunzelTlaxBoy05bees_wingz
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    thealexkruGoodgirlBaddest__RedHeadd_1sirmunchiehistwaddleGregoryLiosiWickedRapunzelTlaxBoy05
  • SubliminalMess
    • 43
    • FAVS
    histwaddleVarun8_freerogue87ratamackOaalfaroAlfaroRPatz257TigerScott88bcougarj
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    DianaLatimerRN_Beach_Combingdunnchandler__greg_vee__HaveWitgeezieyooAnnieSageasiananomaly
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why is "hand-picked" a selling point for fruit? People are gross. That dude probably peed & didn't wash his hands but hey, enjoy that pear!

    • 40
    • FAVS
    pradogodRedHeadd_1sirmunchieL_es_liehistwaddledrdbgpsmithatxPicklesnPickles
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    sirmunchiedrdbgpsmithatxGregoryLiosiPicklesnPicklesTlaxBoy05zami_singsonFlipFloppinChik
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Am I an ass for being honest, or is honesty such a foreign object to ppl that they are incapable of handling it? Either way, yes u look fat.

    • 46
    • FAVS
    histwaddletsunami__7psmithatxjannable9CarolBlodgettTlaxBoy05That_Damn_Ducknerdysongbird__
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    psmithatxTlaxBoy05nerdysongbird__Mr_Landsharkfreerogue87caseytduncanTimHaynesJrPhoebetate__
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why yes autocorrect, I DID want to ask my boss if he "helped his daughter get ready for her porn" after all! Thanks for the help.

    • 41
    • FAVS
    pradogodnovicefatherhistwaddleCarolBlodgettjannable9TlaxBoy05mcibtytheDanLawler
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    novicefatherTlaxBoy05nerdysongbird__freerogue87laylabarbie1400catcervenyeanishak__moose_chocolate
@SubliminalMess

@SubliminalMess

I'm that girl who interrupts people telling personal tales of triumph over adversity in order to ask if they have any gum.