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  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    But what if I wanna go big AND go home?

    • 377
    • FAVS
    LifeAsRashaPeterRohan1AnnoyedGruntxtonywoodliefjilleb163CaniacMONKKRussellTX82HiJCP
    • 230
    • RETWEETS
    AnnoyedGruntxlisansCaniacMONKKRussellTX82ashlynsaysssNeuronicismTheGoatTacoRohitKohli236
    ratamack
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Light a guy's truck on fire one fucking time, and suddenly you're "unstable".

    • 281
    • FAVS
    AnnoyedGruntxKADerfusKRussellTX82AmandaParten_M1N1twstedBitchsnookman59TheGoatTaco
    • 156
    • RETWEETS
    KRussellTX82twstedBitchTheGoatTacoRohitKohli236richerdpicturesMcCutty1darrius1093JudgeDewie
    wesjohnson8
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I wish The Bachelor was more like The Hunger Games & the girls had to kill each other to find love. I'd probably watch a season or 2 of that

    • 220
    • FAVS
    AnnoyedGruntxheatherann2573KRussellTX82vexroidPer_Incuriamstephieann_lovemotorace177_CU96
    • 124
    • RETWEETS
    KRussellTX82motorace177_CU96hermanlwilkesarcherVoltShaistaJustinDBMaxPFitterandBetter
    Liberty_Junkie
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I hate when I accidentally say "thank you" instead of "I hate your stupid face".

    • 180
    • FAVS
    LifeAsRashastateofsolace_mbichaelaAnnoyedGruntxOCDblitzKRussellTX82Neuronicismsnapperjon
    • 95
    • RETWEETS
    stateofsolace_AnnoyedGruntxKRussellTX82twstedBitchrodeoqueen__iowa_redneckTheGoatTacoAnum_javeed
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    A good friend just got engaged by means of a flash mob that he set up. Equally impressive, I ate an entire box of cereal w/ my hands tonight

    • 189
    • FAVS
    AnnoyedGruntxFlorentynaDawnKRussellTX82TheGoatTacoRohitKohli236andyfwhitemotorace177_CU96
    • 78
    • RETWEETS
    KRussellTX82TheGoatTacoRohitKohli236motorace177_CU96havana_bluexanerdonfirePHDaniel_Street
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Huh. So it turns out that when a guy asks for a pic, he wants to see your boobs, not some other guy's penis. Online dating is hard.

    • 159
    • FAVS
    LifeAsRashashybonersalinskii_xojoseejojojoAnnoyedGruntxRohitKohli236motorace177DBMaxP
    • 62
    • RETWEETS
    LarryLejundjoseejojojoiGreenMonkAnnoyedGruntxmotorace177PC_Banned_HumorGlomarResponderjeepguyBrad
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Do you think thin mints are naturally thin? I bet they can eat whatever they want and never even have to work out. Bitches.

    • 140
    • FAVS
    RohitKohli236BAWilsonWritesmotorace177ilanaslightlyLucasMightAchtungBaby17terrycjtpsizzle1
    • 71
    • RETWEETS
    kellimjonesbradgjonesBAWilsonWritesmotorace177LucasMightpatcoholicterrycjt_CU96
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Pull your shirt back down super skinny guys with 6-pack abs. I'm about as impressed with that as u are with big tits on fat chicks.

    • 101
    • FAVS
    RohitKohli236ForgotMyKangoltsm560Mommywatchthis__ericdynamic83sirmunchieALadiesHeartpradogod
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    ForgotMyKangolriley3011tsm560sirmunchiepradogodhistwaddlezak_essackdreamthievin
    OhYeahILiedSouthernboy_420
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Helping a friend w/ her online dating profile. Just spun "unemployed & spends most of the day watching Judge Judy" into "Well versed in law"

    • 79
    • FAVS
    vexroid_CU96K8Austentsm560Mommywatchthis__sirmunchieALadiesHeartNinjaSweatpants
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    _CU96tsm560sirmunchieNinjaSweatpantspradogodhistwaddleBrroooookeeCubicalRon
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Anyone know if you can die of chapped lips?

    • 74
    • FAVS
    KitcataliciousMMerithewDBMaxPtimspringaL_es_lieTweeterMediocrenextmrolympiatsm560
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    DBMaxPL_es_lienextmrolympiatsm560sirmunchieModerateBenderjssarALadiesHeart
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I have NOTHING to wear! *me, right before a massive breakdown laying shirtless on my bedroom floor surrounded by clothes.

    • 75
    • FAVS
    AchtungBaby17onelucky15tsm560asanders1972Mommywatchthis__minniemay69NIKKIDIAMONDS80sirmunchie
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    onelucky15tsm560minniemay69NIKKIDIAMONDS80sirmunchieSoFiyahD__ALadiesHeartmcibty
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Hey, if you don't want me to call you a fucktard...Maybe. Don't. Be one.

    • 66
    • FAVS
    AchtungBaby17_CU96onelucky15BrianIncognitoL_es_lieTweeterMediocrenextmrolympiatsm560
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    _CU96princesati52onelucky15MissGixxernextmrolympiatsm560sirmunchieProudPapaDuffy
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why is life so hard? And why are these brownies so good? A memoir.

    • 56
    • FAVS
    _CU96nextmrolympiasirmunchienice_sometimesJanuaryGrayskatieee_kaaayALadiesHearthistwaddle
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    _CU96sirmunchieALadiesHeartVodkaTiemAxenbanetsunami__7PicklesnPicklesVicFuture__
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Yeah, that's right. I look pretty good considering I keep a Big Mac in my purse as an emergency snack almost daily.

    • 58
    • FAVS
    olerunkbitchiNickuDBMaxPsirmunchieALadiesHearthistwaddletsunami__7TlaxBoy05
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    DBMaxPsirmunchieTlaxBoy05ajanninckCubicalRonwillowfrantnmrjohntofunerdysongbird__
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    If you tell me "it could always be worse", I will immediately bash you in the face with my 9-iron just to prove you right.

    • 44
    • FAVS
    _CU96pradogodsirmunchiehistwaddlekellysolodukatsunami__7TlaxBoy05CubicalRon
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    _CU96pradogodsirmunchieTlaxBoy05CubicalRonTimYeomannerdysongbird__breely216
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Pro tip: Never eat pie while standing up, or else everyone in the restaurant will notice that you're crying.

    • 46
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    GoodgirlBaddest__sirmunchiehistwaddletsunami__7Huber138WickedRapunzelTlaxBoy05bees_wingz
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    thealexkruGoodgirlBaddest__RedHeadd_1sirmunchiehistwaddleGregoryLiosiWickedRapunzelTlaxBoy05
  • SubliminalMess
    • 43
    • FAVS
    histwaddleVarun8_freerogue87ratamackOaalfaroAlfaroRPatz257TigerScott88bcougarj
    • 27
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    DianaLatimerRN_Beach_Combingdunnchandler__greg_veeHaveWitgeezieyooAnnieSageasiananomaly
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why is "hand-picked" a selling point for fruit? People are gross. That dude probably peed & didn't wash his hands but hey, enjoy that pear!

    • 40
    • FAVS
    pradogodRedHeadd_1sirmunchieL_es_liehistwaddledrdbgpsmithatxPicklesnPickles
    • 26
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    sirmunchiedrdbgpsmithatxGregoryLiosiPicklesnPicklesTlaxBoy05zami_singsonFlipFloppinChik
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Am I an ass for being honest, or is honesty such a foreign object to ppl that they are incapable of handling it? Either way, yes u look fat.

    • 46
    • FAVS
    histwaddletsunami__7psmithatxjannable9CarolBlodgettTlaxBoy05That_Damn_Ducknerdysongbird__
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    psmithatxTlaxBoy05nerdysongbird__Mr_Landsharkfreerogue87caseytduncanTimHaynesJrPhoebetate__
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why yes autocorrect, I DID want to ask my boss if he "helped his daughter get ready for her porn" after all! Thanks for the help.

    • 41
    • FAVS
    pradogodnovicefatherhistwaddleCarolBlodgettjannable9TlaxBoy05mcibtytheDanLawler
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    novicefatherTlaxBoy05nerdysongbird__freerogue87laylabarbie1400catcervenyeanishak__moose_chocolate
@SubliminalMess

@SubliminalMess

I'm that girl who interrupts people telling personal tales of triumph over adversity in order to ask if they have any gum.

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