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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Gift @SubliminalMess Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 383
    • FAVS
    Bombay_MartiniD10_mathiesonjaelco26grawpwanthaggermattgallo123KThonvoldFord414Doyouhave1drop
    • 233
    • RETWEETS
    MelWowwmattgallo123Doyouhave1dropjumpdasharkBackrowSeatsAnnoyedGruntxlisansCaniacMONK
    ratamack__
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Light a guy's truck on fire one fucking time, and suddenly you're "unstable".

    • 297
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    shannon2703mschff3smokeymccheefosummers_sonnyflatbillybarouangelwhorns68ruraljulesKThonvold
    • 164
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    treadmilldwesjohnson8
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I wish The Bachelor was more like The Hunger Games & the girls had to kill each other to find love. I'd probably watch a season or 2 of that

    • 231
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    PurvoActualrockfairydivaelizabeths_7shannon2703smokeymccheefoangelwhorns68ruraljulesFord414
    • 128
    • RETWEETS
    shannon2703ruraljuleskavoinooitreadmilldKRussellTX82motorace177_CU96hermanlwilkes
    Liberty_Junkie
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I hate when I accidentally say "thank you" instead of "I hate your stupid face".

    • 188
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    shannon2703ruraljulesanerdonfireFord414jumpdashark_oopsohwell___FvckboyBBackrowSeats
    • 96
    • RETWEETS
    BackrowSeatsstateofsolace_AnnoyedGruntxKRussellTX82BBryJamrodeoqueen__iowa_redneckTheGoatTaco
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    A good friend just got engaged by means of a flash mob that he set up. Equally impressive, I ate an entire box of cereal w/ my hands tonight

    • 195
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    shannon2703ruraljulesKThonvoldFord414jumpdasharkBackrowSeatsAnnoyedGruntxFlorentynaDawn
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    shannon2703KRussellTX82TheGoatTacoRohitKohli236motorace177_CU96havana_bluexanerdonfire
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Huh. So it turns out that when a guy asks for a pic, he wants to see your boobs, not some other guy's penis. Online dating is hard.

    • 170
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    PurvoActualrockfairydivaTheOPhilosophershannon2703smokeymccheefoangelwhorns68ruraljulesanerdonfire
    • 64
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  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Do you think thin mints are naturally thin? I bet they can eat whatever they want and never even have to work out. Bitches.

    • 146
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    shannon2703ruraljulesKThonvoldFord414jumpdasharkBackrowSeatsRohitKohli236BAWilsonWrites
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    BackrowSeatskellimjonesbradgjonesBAWilsonWritesmotorace177LucasMightpatcoholicterrycjt
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Pull your shirt back down super skinny guys with 6-pack abs. I'm about as impressed with that as u are with big tits on fat chicks.

    • 107
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    brandyl1120HauteursDameshannon2703ruraljulesthegatekeeper50jumpdasharkRohitKohli236ForgotMyKangol
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    singlebeachgalshannon2703thegatekeeper50ForgotMyKangolriley3011tsm560sirmunchie__pradogod
    OhYeahILiedSouthernboy_420
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Helping a friend w/ her online dating profile. Just spun "unemployed & spends most of the day watching Judge Judy" into "Well versed in law"

    • 84
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    shannon2703ruraljulesKThonvoldFord414jumpdasharkvexroid_CU96K8Austen
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    _CU96tsm560sirmunchie__NinjaSweatpantspradogodhistwaddleBrroooookeeCubicalRon
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I have NOTHING to wear! *me, right before a massive breakdown laying shirtless on my bedroom floor surrounded by clothes.

    • 80
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    shannon2703ruraljulesKThonvoldFord414jumpdasharkAchtungBaby17onelucky15tsm560
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    onelucky15tsm560minniemay69NIKKIDIAMONDS80sirmunchie__SoFiyahD__ALadiesHeartmcibty
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Anyone know if you can die of chapped lips?

    • 77
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    shannon2703ruraljulesjumpdasharkKitcataliciousMMerithewDBMaxPtimspringaL_es_lie
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    DBMaxPL_es_lienextmrolympiatsm560sirmunchie__ModerateBenderjssarALadiesHeart
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Hey, if you don't want me to call you a fucktard...Maybe. Don't. Be one.

    • 70
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    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    shannon2703_CU96princesati52__onelucky15MissGixxernextmrolympiatsm560sirmunchie__
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why is life so hard? And why are these brownies so good? A memoir.

    • 60
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    shannon2703ruraljulesKThonvoldjumpdashark_CU96nextmrolympiasirmunchie__nice_sometimes__
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    _CU96sirmunchie__ALadiesHeartVodkaTiemaxenbanetsunami__7PicklesnPicklesVicFuture__
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Yeah, that's right. I look pretty good considering I keep a Big Mac in my purse as an emergency snack almost daily.

    • 61
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    • 23
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  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Pro tip: Never eat pie while standing up, or else everyone in the restaurant will notice that you're crying.

    • 54
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    • 26
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  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    If you tell me "it could always be worse", I will immediately bash you in the face with my 9-iron just to prove you right.

    • 48
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    • 31
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  • SubliminalMess
    • 45
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    • 27
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  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why is "hand-picked" a selling point for fruit? People are gross. That dude probably peed & didn't wash his hands but hey, enjoy that pear!

    • 43
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    ruraljulesFord414jumpdasharkpradogodRedHeadd_1sirmunchie__L_es_liehistwaddle
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    sirmunchie__drdbgpsmithatxGregoryLiosiPicklesnPicklesTlaxBoy05zami_singsonFlipFloppinChik
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Am I an ass for being honest, or is honesty such a foreign object to ppl that they are incapable of handling it? Either way, yes u look fat.

    • 48
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    • 20
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    psmithatxTlaxBoy05nerdysongbird__Mr_Landsharkfreerogue87caseytduncanTimHaynesJrPhoebetate__
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why yes autocorrect, I DID want to ask my boss if he "helped his daughter get ready for her porn" after all! Thanks for the help.

    • 43
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    Ford414jumpdasharkpradogodnovicefatherhistwaddleCarolBlodgettjannable9TlaxBoy05
    • 22
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    novicefatherTlaxBoy05nerdysongbird__freerogue87Sortakinda2412catcervenyeanishak__moose_chocolate
@SubliminalMess

@SubliminalMess

I'm that girl who interrupts people telling personal tales of triumph over adversity in order to ask if they have any gum.

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