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  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    But what if I wanna go big AND go home?

    • 341
    • FAVS
    urekasgoldale_xoxo7nextmrolympiaMikeMcNeil_405feltonTheDailySchmucktsm560minniemay69
    • 209
    • RETWEETS
    Letsdothis_shitgeminieast7745nextmrolympiaMaestoJ405feltonmillybeesTheDailySchmucktsm560
    ratamack
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Light a guy's truck on fire one fucking time, and suddenly you're "unstable".

    • 244
    • FAVS
    lickmysassholeYesImMattGun_Daddy_Samaad_Ahmedteresap1203mistahtogetheraspyintherosJensenRosee
    • 136
    • RETWEETS
    YesImMattGun_Daddy_bethywethy32Heart_chootsm560thereal_timelj_0305AwichPat
    wesjohnson8
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I wish The Bachelor was more like The Hunger Games & the girls had to kill each other to find love. I'd probably watch a season or 2 of that

    • 198
    • FAVS
    L_es_lienextmrolympiaJensenRoseeK8AustenHeart_chootsm560sirmunchie__ProudPapaDuffy
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    tsm560sirmunchie__ProudPapaDuffyhistwaddlehirojesusnnamdyjuniorozzyuncanerdonfire
    Liberty_Junkie
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    A good friend just got engaged by means of a flash mob that he set up. Equally impressive, I ate an entire box of cereal w/ my hands tonight

    • 172
    • FAVS
    nextmrolympiaJumper40threetsm560sirmunchie__thetencentpieceLoveNLunchmeatCubanaMama82thenoahkinsey
    • 70
    • RETWEETS
    tsm560sirmunchie__thenoahkinseyALadiesHeartSigneSaysSo__zami_singsonallyxcat22mrjohntofu
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I hate when I accidentally say "thank you" instead of "I hate your stupid face".

    • 153
    • FAVS
    skersGBRTweeterMediocrenextmrolympiatsm560Jemill13sirmunchie__reviouscannoneerfour
    • 83
    • RETWEETS
    TweeterMediocreprinc3sskittennextmrolympiatsm560Jemill13sirmunchie__tootwistedforyaALadiesHeart
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Huh. So it turns out that when a guy asks for a pic, he wants to see your boobs, not some other guy's penis. Online dating is hard.

    • 144
    • FAVS
    LilShanteJlickmysassholeYesImMattL_es_lienextmrolympiatsm560Jemill13sirmunchie__
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    MissGixxerflashmobforeverYesImMatttsm560Jemill13sirmunchie__ALadiesHearthistwaddle
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Do you think thin mints are naturally thin? I bet they can eat whatever they want and never even have to work out. Bitches.

    • 126
    • FAVS
    K8Austentsm560ln2718Jemill13sirmunchie__blondecoffeeProudPapaDuffyJanuaryGrays
    • 62
    • RETWEETS
    alaypatel5tsm560ln2718Jemill13sirmunchie__ProudPapaDuffyALadiesHearthistwaddle
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Pull your shirt back down super skinny guys with 6-pack abs. I'm about as impressed with that as u are with big tits on fat chicks.

    • 99
    • FAVS
    tsm560Mommywatchthisericdynamic83sirmunchie__ALadiesHeartpradogodhistwaddleMackswellPerry
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    tsm560sirmunchie__pradogodhistwaddlezak_essackdreamthievinhirojesusLackOfShame
    OhYeahILiedSouthernboy_420
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Helping a friend w/ her online dating profile. Just spun "unemployed & spends most of the day watching Judge Judy" into "Well versed in law"

    • 77
    • FAVS
    K8Austentsm560Mommywatchthissirmunchie__ALadiesHeartEBiggumspradogodi_am_red2
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    tsm560sirmunchie__EBiggumspradogodhistwaddleBrroooookeeCubicalRonpsmithatx
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Anyone know if you can die of chapped lips?

    • 71
    • FAVS
    timspringaL_es_lieTweeterMediocrenextmrolympiatsm560Mommywatchthissirmunchie__1800lori
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    L_es_lienextmrolympiatsm560sirmunchie__ModerateBenderjssarALadiesHeartclumsyballerina
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I have NOTHING to wear! *me, right before a massive breakdown laying shirtless on my bedroom floor surrounded by clothes.

    • 73
    • FAVS
    tsm560asanders1972Mommywatchthisminniemay69NIKKIDIAMONDS80sirmunchie__ITSMandy_Kaykipnips
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    tsm560minniemay69NIKKIDIAMONDS80sirmunchie__SoFiyahDALadiesHeartmcibtynerdysongbird__
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Hey, if you don't want me to call you a fucktard...Maybe. Don't. Be one.

    • 63
    • FAVS
    BrianIncognitoL_es_lieTweeterMediocrenextmrolympiatsm560MommywatchthisRubyAmusMesirmunchie__
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    MissGixxernextmrolympiatsm560sirmunchie__ProudPapaDuffyTlaxBoy05nerdysongbird__RobRabbMusic
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why is life so hard? And why are these brownies so good? A memoir.

    • 55
    • FAVS
    nextmrolympiasirmunchie__nice_sometimesJanuaryGrayskatieee_kaaayALadiesHearthistwaddleVodkaTiem
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    sirmunchie__ALadiesHeartVodkaTiemAxenbanetsunami__7PicklesnPicklesVicFutureWickedRapunzel
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Yeah, that's right. I look pretty good considering I keep a Big Mac in my purse as an emergency snack almost daily.

    • 55
    • FAVS
    sirmunchie__ALadiesHearthistwaddletsunami__7TlaxBoy05ThatDentGirlCubicalRonbaliska2
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    sirmunchie__TlaxBoy05ajanninckCubicalRonwillowfrantnmrjohntofunerdysongbird__daniel_shaw
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    If you tell me "it could always be worse", I will immediately bash you in the face with my 9-iron just to prove you right.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    sirmunchie__histwaddlekellysolodukatsunami__7TlaxBoy05CubicalRonmcibtyTimYeoman
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    sirmunchie__TlaxBoy05CubicalRonTimYeomannerdysongbird__breely216Mr_Landsharkfreerogue87
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Pro tip: Never eat pie while standing up, or else everyone in the restaurant will notice that you're crying.

    • 46
    • FAVS
    GoodgirlBaddestsirmunchie__histwaddletsunami__7Huber138WickedRapunzelTlaxBoy05bees_wingz
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    GoodgirlBaddestRedHeadd_1sirmunchie__histwaddleGregoryLiosiWickedRapunzelTlaxBoy05MumRevised
  • SubliminalMess
    • 43
    • FAVS
    histwaddleVarun4_freerogue87ratamackOaalfaroAlfaroRPatz257TigerScott88bcougarj
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    DianaLatimerRN_Beach_Combingdunnchandler__greg_veeHaveWitgeezieyooAnnieSageasiananomaly
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Am I an ass for being honest, or is honesty such a foreign object to ppl that they are incapable of handling it? Either way, yes u look fat.

    • 46
    • FAVS
    histwaddletsunami__7psmithatxjannable9CarolBlodgettTlaxBoy05That_Damn_Ducknerdysongbird__
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    psmithatxTlaxBoy05nerdysongbird__Mr_Landsharkfreerogue87caseytduncanTimHaynesJrPhoebetate__
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why is "hand-picked" a selling point for fruit? People are gross. That dude probably peed & didn't wash his hands but hey, enjoy that pear!

    • 39
    • FAVS
    RedHeadd_1sirmunchie__L_es_liehistwaddledrdbgpsmithatxPicklesnPicklesCarolBlodgett
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    sirmunchie__drdbgpsmithatxGregoryLiosiPicklesnPicklesTlaxBoy05zami_singsonFlipFloppinChik
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why yes autocorrect, I DID want to ask my boss if he "helped his daughter get ready for her porn" after all! Thanks for the help.

    • 40
    • FAVS
    novicefatherhistwaddleCarolBlodgettjannable9TlaxBoy05mcibtytheDanLawlernerdysongbird__
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    novicefatherTlaxBoy05nerdysongbird__freerogue87laylabarbie1400catcervenyeanishak__moose_chocolate
@SubliminalMess

@SubliminalMess

I'm that girl who interrupts people telling personal tales of triumph over adversity in order to ask if they have any gum.