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  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    But what if I wanna go big AND go home?

    • 282
    • FAVS
    JessicaCasinCathannahdelagiGunnerArchitectExCircusGirlgefiltecatbrocketxyzWobblyKnobsDWillem10
    • 163
    • RETWEETS
    GunnerArchitectbrocketxyziamporqupineAHouse21JulieOlagbegijeffreyvanclea1mae_marssassyxprincess
    ratamack
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Light a guy's truck on fire one fucking time, and suddenly you're "unstable".

    • 183
    • FAVS
    MindAbortionsMILFDianeUnderchildepradogodAGreaterMonsterkratosfrostbitesirhalfzero3_benz
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    4crps8kMILFDianeUnderchildepradogodAGreaterMonstertoothncomeonzero3_benzMr_Landshark
    wesjohnson8
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I wish The Bachelor was more like The Hunger Games & the girls had to kill each other to find love. I'd probably watch a season or 2 of that

    • 161
    • FAVS
    ShelbyLynnette_jackieureelImtheDudemahnUnderchildetonywoodliefnickschick11HiddleDeeDeepradogod
    • 98
    • RETWEETS
    kennedyrp_4crps8kUnderchildeHiddleDeeDeepradogodAGreaterMonsternofairytale4uCHRISMHUERTA
    Liberty_Junkie
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    A good friend just got engaged by means of a flash mob that he set up. Equally impressive, I ate an entire box of cereal w/ my hands tonight

    • 140
    • FAVS
    AGreaterMonsterMrsTomServoMr_Landsharknofairytale4uaonsupapornnAbstractAnxietyVodkaShorebirdMedicatedMark
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    AGreaterMonsterMr_LandsharkMedicatedMarkTlaxBoy05JesKeepSwimmingcastabignetfreerogue87puntious
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I hate when I accidentally say "thank you" instead of "I hate your stupid face".

    • 108
    • FAVS
    delmolitionTweetsByTheTonyMr_LandsharkpinningnutAbstractAnxietyMedicatedMarkRestenfieldeiffeltowerchi
    • 59
    • RETWEETS
    HollyEH1985TweetsByTheTonyMr_LandsharkMedicatedMarkTlaxBoy05freerogue87puntiousOddBosco
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Do you think thin mints are naturally thin? I bet they can eat whatever they want and never even have to work out. Bitches.

    • 103
    • FAVS
    Mr_LandsharkPrescottLane1aonsupapornnmikeinatxMedicatedMarkRestenfieldSouthernboy_420Cheeseboy22
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    shannonevans98pinningnutMedicatedMarkTlaxBoy05freerogue87puntiousLackOfShamePhoebetate__
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Huh. So it turns out that when a guy asks for a pic, he wants to see your boobs, not some other guy's penis. Online dating is hard.

    • 110
    • FAVS
    JasonkfraserTlaxBoy05JP247SCOOBYMr_LandsharkOoklaRideaonsupapornnMedicatedMarkVarun_4_
    • 43
    • RETWEETS
    TlaxBoy05lips_elevenMedicatedMarknewstart43saint_my_footJesKeepSwimmingxosmSouthernboy_420
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Pull your shirt back down super skinny guys with 6-pack abs. I'm about as impressed with that as u are with big tits on fat chicks.

    • 71
    • FAVS
    TlaxBoy05MaryMcAdams2Mr_LandsharkaonsupapornnMedicatedMarkVarun_4_Southernboy_420freerogue87
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    TlaxBoy05MaryMcAdams2helluvannetteageingrockchikMedicatedMarkSouthernboy_420freerogue87puntious
    Southernboy_420
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Helping a friend w/ her online dating profile. Just spun "unemployed & spends most of the day watching Judge Judy" into "Well versed in law"

    • 61
    • FAVS
    CannabisWTFTlaxBoy05Mr_Landsharklips_elevenMedicatedMarkVarun_4_eiffeltowerchifreerogue87
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    CannabisWTFSaveItForFestTlaxBoy05Mr_LandsharkShansMasalaMedicatedMarkfreerogue87caseytduncan
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    I have NOTHING to wear! *me, right before a massive breakdown laying shirtless on my bedroom floor surrounded by clothes.

    • 55
    • FAVS
    green_eyed_dollTlaxBoy05delmolitionbreely216Mr_LandsharkVarun_4_freerogue87topfotini
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    TlaxBoy05breely216Mr_Landsharkfreerogue87caseytduncanPeachesNPorkthedaisycomplexPhoebetate__
  • SubliminalMess
    • 42
    • FAVS
    Varun_4_freerogue87ratamackOaalfaroAlfaroRPatz257TigerScott88bcougarjDan_Nemeth
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    DianaLatimerRN_Beach_Combingdunnchandler__greg_veeHaveWitgeezieyooAnnieSageasiananomaly
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Anyone know if you can die of chapped lips?

    • 46
    • FAVS
    komiskaMr_LandsharkVarun_4_RestenfielddxblarssonENGfreerogue87th_purpl_ladyWildeThingy
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_Landsharkfreerogue87YYZJJcaseytduncanPhoebetate__lns0mnlakcydnizoixosm
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Hey, if you don't want me to call you a fucktard...Maybe. Don't. Be one.

    • 45
    • FAVS
    Mr_LandsharkVarun_4_Restenfieldfreerogue87caseytduncanLackOfShameRobRabbMusicchellalmasy
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    Restenfieldfreerogue877525Nurshuhadatherealdopelinef8terboiPhoebetate__MalliesDeezSweet_Leafs_
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Am I an ass for being honest, or is honesty such a foreign object to ppl that they are incapable of handling it? Either way, yes u look fat.

    • 37
    • FAVS
    Mr_LandsharkVarun_4_freerogue87caseytduncanLackOfShameRobRabbMusicconcretesledge_whyyesplease____
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_Landsharkfreerogue87caseytduncanTimHaynesJrPhoebetate__MalliesDeezSteevUmcCrashTestDrummy
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    If you tell me "it could always be worse", I will immediately bash you in the face with my 9-iron just to prove you right.

    • 32
    • FAVS
    suzieQ0007breely216Mr_LandsharkVarun_4_freerogue87edbritonbabyelephantpoonelron15
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    breely216Mr_Landsharkfreerogue87nelron15slhowlmoose_chocolatecaseytduncanMalliesDeez
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Yeah, that's right. I look pretty good considering I keep a Big Mac in my purse as an emergency snack almost daily.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    breely216Mr_LandsharkVarun_4_freerogue87caseytduncanRobRabbMusicconcretesledge_whyyesplease____
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    breely216Mr_Landsharkfreerogue87Phoebetate__FoxadelicCrashTestDrummyCountMackulaclownhole
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why yes autocorrect, I DID want to ask my boss if he "helped his daughter get ready for her porn" after all! Thanks for the help.

    • 31
    • FAVS
    Mr_LandsharkVarun_4_freerogue87catcervenyeanishakmoose_chocolatecaseytduncanconcretesledge_
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    freerogue87laylabarbie1400catcervenyeanishakmoose_chocolatecaseytduncanCrashTestDrummytomhenryofdeath
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Why is life so hard? And why are these brownies so good? A memoir.

    • 33
    • FAVS
    suzieQ0007breely216Mr_LandsharkSonofConwayVarun_4_freerogue87bsuemalesmoose_chocolate
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    xKidShadowbreely216Mr_Landsharkfreerogue87LoraHeloucaseytduncanMatteroffact80durtywhitebitch
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Be a gentleman, and treat me with respect. Or don't, and fuck off. Thems the options.

    • 28
    • FAVS
    Mr_LandsharkVarun_4_freerogue87caseytduncanRobRabbMusicconcretesledge_whyyesplease____Phoebetate__
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    freerogue87spitfirechef8caseytduncanPhoebetate__ClassyHooliganCrashTestDrummyTheBluntRedheadbravefan47
  • SubliminalMess
      Mindy @SubliminalMess

    Pro tip: Never eat pie while standing up, or else everyone in the restaurant will notice that you're crying.

    • 32
    • FAVS
    OCDblitzSonofConwayKeelaMullerhennabyjesstwelveand_definitlymaybeJDOG666justincresswell
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    _definitlymaybejustincresswellcastabignetTweetsByTheTonyMichael_MaybeBulldozerBoseravaricious1Seanpossible71
@SubliminalMess

@SubliminalMess

I'm that girl who interrupts people telling personal tales of triumph over adversity in order to ask if they have any gum.