I'm sort of a mixed bag of awesome...with a pretty little psycho bow.

I've decided that I'll never get down to my original weight, & I'm ok w/it. I mean, 8lbs/4oz is really not realistic if you think about it.

If you ever need to have a medical procedure done that includes anesthesia, ask if they'll throw in a Brazillian before you wake up.

A friend told me that I was delusional... I almost fell off my unicorn.

Fuck eternal life... I can't even do this temp one.

If I were a monster, I would totally walk around handing out roses to people, then WOOSH bite them in the head.

I feel like a muppet with no hand.

I'm not sure what that means, but I'm starring it anyways.

I will give out my fucks as I see fit...and that's just the way it is.

I'm not listening to my brain anymore....it's pissing me off.

You humans never cease to amaze me.

Twitter...this is like hell with friends, right?

Don't judge me according to your past.

I just dropped all you guys on the floor... everyone okay?

I just saw an avi that was so disturbing... I think I need to wash my eyes out with soap.

My Oompa Loompa died.

What sort of fuckery is this? My new word...fuckery... I love it. Fuckery....

Comfortable doesn't always equal happy.

Be kind to each other... or I'll kick you in the head... Kapeesh?

Karma isn't just negative.