Dear Twitlonger user: No one wants to read the first 140 characters of what you say, let alone your War And Peace Tweet.

@lolgop It should be noted that the last president with an MBA broke the world.

I love how conservatives can both accuse people of class warfare and demand we all battle the evil "elites" that run our society. #tcot #p2

We have lower taxes than during Bush and fewer regulations than during Bush, but #tcot still insists on calling @barackobama anti-business.

Dear Republicans, please please please please please please please nominate Michelle Bachmann in 2012. Love Democrats. #tcot #gop2012

@jeffersonobama Remember, Reagan proved deficits don't matter. But I guess since he's dead they matter again.

Don't know how @mittromney can say with a straight face that his would be a truer recovery when he wanted GM and Chrysler liquidated. #tcot

Instead of the #Jaguars, maybe John Morgan should lobby Orlando's NFL owner to sign Tim Tebow. Oh shit that's right they don't have one.

Twitter is never going to get you coffee, so stop tweeting that you lack it and or need it.

#FF more best #jaxmayor tweeps: @kklausser @ryanaclarke @ac_ec @sjrivera @isomphilips @adambeaugh @jaxmayorshow @hoganemptychair

How cute is it to see someone doing their best Napoleon Dynamite rant about IPAs without knowing what the letters stand for.

You'll really know when #OneSpark has come of age when groups of podcasters do live podcasts where their guests are all other podcasters.

I'm most thankful today for my future wife @therealmscindyo

I am happy to announce I am now engaged to @therealmscindyo. May God have mercy on her soul.

The Sunshine Blog: It All Goes Down In Portland On Podcast Episode 32: Live from Portland Oregon I kick it with ... http://t.co/lf4EWPfI

Love how emo-progs are all spinning old vinyl Bill Clinton albums to seem above the Obama hype tonight. #DNC

I really wonder about people who tweet something, then cc a bunch of unrelated people. @howardstern @fun_beard @beakermeeps @joshscobee10

#youarenotandrewbreitbart

North Korea's "satellite launch" is like that napkin my late aunt would keep over her coffee cup full of bourbon. Nobody's fooled.

I need a catchy regular thing that I tweet first thing every morning like @shoq and @stopbeck. Maybe "Sun's up bitches!" I'll workshop that