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Watch out, there's a baby on board in that car over there. Whoa! There's baby on board in that one too! Hey, how many babies are there?!
Thanks for putting up with me everyone. Thanks. Ok. Bye.
"Do I cut the red wire first?! Ok! What?! Cut the blue wire first?! Which one do I cut first?!!" - God trying to defuse a cat.
Because I am a moron in the use of American language I had to delete the last tweet due 2 incorrect use of words. I will post updated 1 now.
"The good looking ones go here and the ugly ones go over there. NEVER let them mix, got it? That would be a disaster."- God inventing humans
If you use the word 'literally' a couple hundred times a day you just might reveal to everyone that you have read many fine books in life.
Can't wait to wake up on Monday and open Memorial Day presents.
Hi. Guess what I had to eat today? 2 pickles. Zesty dill. Life is going exactly according to plan. Ok. Thnx.
I fear that one day my family will feel the need to perform a 'bobcat intervention' on me because, you know, bobcats.
Do I have to think of everything, McDonald's?
You are an iguana
You are in an apartment in Hermosa Beach
You are wondering what has gone wrong your life
You are an iguana
"How long do we have to wait to become great?" - Young people.
Just got profiled by the cops. They looked over and gave me a thumbs up.
SERIOUS QUESTION: Does McDonalds still have the McMagic Mike Mac or is that over?
"They're pointing a gun at someone. Maybe it's you, maybe not. We don't know. Also, they're scowling." - Action Movie posters
"Someone looking over the top of their sunglasses as if they're saying 'whaaat?' or 'not agaaain'" - Movie posters for comedies.
Just a reminder, freedom is still not free. ok thnx. bye bye.
Also, global warming. k.
"Where's the beef?" haha, yep.
Somewhere, there's a budding vegan thinking about getting a gluten allergy.
Move along, people. It's just a drum circle. Nothing to see here. Move along.
A generator that uses people's gym stories as fuel.
Energy crisis: Solved.
Puppy petter. Eagle trainer. Drinker of beer. Taker of naps.